I'm So Sick and Tired

I’m sick and tired of..myself!
Here comes some complaining guys..

1. I’m super lazy since I was umm, born? nah..but I’ve been lazy since I was a teenager
Which is pretty annoying..
'cause even though my body is lazy..my spirit is always hyper lol..and that's not coordinated!

2. i noticed that i don't eat when I’m happy..and lately I’ve been stuffing myself with anything you can call food or..smililar

3. Ok, so the "stronger" songs are not doing the trick..I can manage through the day but the nights..my god! Torture!
And I can hardly stop myself from getting off my bed and do what I’ve been stopping myself from doing the past week..no I’m not an addict..well, not to anything known to be addictive

4. I need to do something extremely crazy..pronto! I’m officially losing it! And I’d really appreciate suggestions..

5. I’m home..and as glad as I am to be with my family for the weekend..waking up in the morning and getting all the memories..i can't believe everything in my life was going perfectly smooth 2 months ago! Sometimes I can be such a pain in my own ass! ugh...

6. Even though I know I should've handled it differently? a part of me is very grateful I haven't and now I’m not sure which part is it..the part that wants the best for me? Or the self-destructive one? seriously..i'm my worst enemy..thats why I need help..don't leave me alone..i eat myself from the inside..slowly..

7. I usually go running..well, once a year? XD and they say exercising makes you happier..and since I can't swim yet. I’ll try that once I’m back to that ******** dorm.

8. I hate how I eventually turn my problems into motives..i don't know..that crap about me being a better person I guess..it's good I know..but I want to umm, screw up sometime and let it be screwed! Or screw it even more.

9. I hate people who start listening to rock/metal and start this whole theme of excessive black eyeliner, wearing black with some other stuff that won't match no matter what! and not washing their hair and putting lots of hair Gel on..Their whole freakin mentality changes! They’ll be like: I need drugs and I wanna die or worship Satan coz hey! I listen to death metal!
I mean seriosuly..wtf? Life is not a costume party people! Or is it? I don't know..but plz! Be original! For MY good!

10. I feel like I’m becoming more like my father eveyday..and I don't even have the right! i mean..if I was dad? I can do whatever I want and be excused..but this whole not practice what I preach is getting to me. I mean I know what's right from wrong -mostly- and I keep doing the wrong! Note: after I tell everyone else they should do the right thing!
I know! Evil!!! >.<

11. There is no eleven I just wanted to say that now I know my best friend's name. It’s Allen

Kids..

i wish i could turn back time..or at least go back in time..just to see that little Nella laughing, playing around and opening her eyes wide open and smiling widely when she sees or hears something new and interesting she never saw or heard before?
..i still do that btw, lol..the opening my eyes and smiling widely..

wasn't it nice? when we had no worries? when nothing made sense and it was ok with us?
when all our concerns were candy and toys?

life can be so hard once you grow up to understand..why did the world change once we grew up? why is there hating? hunger? gossip? selfishness? enviousness? etc..

later on we come to understand that they were always there but we only came to understand what going on around us..
we just didn't notice them..
all of the hating, the gossip..even war..we never knew that when we wanted more candy, kids in Africa were dying from hunger..we didn't know that when i was going to school and worrying about my homework..Palestinian kids were worrying about reaching school alive..

i think that there is a part of us which will always want to be a kid again..each for it's own reasons, but the part in me that wants to go back is fairly big..thats why i think I'm too naive and childish..that's why I'm so irresponsible and I look at people as all good and nice and treat them that way..nicely

lots of not so good childhood memories i have, lots of not so good teen hood memories i have and lots adulthood memories i have..and i will cherish them all..along with the good ones..

i noticed that bad memories make me smile when i remember them..and good ones make me sad..maybe coz I'm glad the sad ones are gone
and sad the good ones can never be repeated?
i don't know really..but i really wanna go back to being a kid..

life really was rainbows and butterflies..

again?

i just had three different experiences in less than 36 hours..nothing special really..but it felt like a tornado..had a great impact..somehow

experience #1:
i met someone who's almost like me..she's extremely adorable and we have so much in common i felt like i was talking to myself..the things we like, the thing's we've been through..well, it's not like i know her very well but i just felt like i was looking in a mirror and talking to the image reflected..of course the image wasn't me lol..it was her image but it felt like the one i usually talk to is finally smiling back at me..

she told me about her imaginary friend and i've found it astonishing..

i do have someone i could call an imaginary friend but it's not exactly that..its been almost a month since we met..i don't know her name yet..i needed some fresh air so i went for a walk outside and stood there watching the sunrise..it was quiet a meeting and from that day on we became so close..we talk for hours and she's just like my shadow now
but i still don't know her name
she looks exactly like me..except that she's the opposite? personality wise

she's mean lol..and very sure of herself..i won't call her the best in me..i don't see being mean as the best in anyone..she's strong and determined..she's not the type who'd look back..

yup! the exact opposite

i like how she listens but i really don't like how she reacts to my actions..she keeps calling me stupid and childish..even though mostly? it's all just that...

?: you should try and think of yourself first sometimes..you don't honestly think you'll be getting something in return for being nice or honest or loyal or any of that are you? why do you keep caring for people who won't even have second thoughts of you?

Nella: well, its just how i am..

?: well, this 'you" should be up for some changes..you're too nice for you're own good..

Nella: why is everyone saying this? what's wrong with being too nice anyways?


?: lol..well, why would they bother telling you such a thing anyways? too nice is just gonna be turned on you..

Nella: oh...well..

?: btw, im quiet pissed at what you've been doing recently..

Nella: what?

?: why do you open your heart and pour it all out once you get emotional? and seriously that joke was so uncalled for

Nella: i don't know what came to me..i just said it

?: oh well, next time? zip it!

Nella: why do you keep yelling? im right here you know!

?: well, you're just too naive and it's...it's annoying!

Nella: can we talk about something else plz?

?: yeah ok..how about we talk about what you've been hiding? it's so obvious you're a mess

Nella: noticed?

?: i just said it's so damn obvious! ugh..you're slow..

Nella : ^_^ oh yeah..that...

?: not gonna say?

Nella: it left a fresh hole..and it still hurts when the wind blows through..sooner or later you'll find out..i might just not take it and you know..collapse?

?: you're way to hard on yourself you know..get it out on someone else..someone who deserves it! for a change..

Nella: haha..yeah, you know? some ppl should be getting their a$$ kicked ^_^...thanx..i kinda feel better..weird though..all you do is yell and stick that stinkin reality in my face

?: better than day dreaming..you just like to run away to your own lil neverland..where everything is exactly how you wish it would be and it annoys me when you start believing it..

Nella: well, that's called hope! i just hope it turns out how i imagined

?: raaaaaight..and it never goes the way you imagined..it doesn't work princess!

Nella: lol..are you the part of me who believes in reality? hahaha..no wonder you're just so mean..

and it goes on and on..until i get interfered...she's the only one i trust completely..she knows me like no one else and i guess she's not leaving coz there is no where else to go..
i'm starting to believe that everyone who gets to know me, leave me..
is it me? am i too complicated? maybe cause i don't know how to deal with ppl? i don't know..

experience #2:
i had a big fight with a person i hold so dear..well, we fight usually and it seems like it wasn't going anywhere..i wouldn't say there was no understanding, ummm..there was..a little

but it was for the best to let it off i guess..
i was getting closer and it might've made it harder..you know..more memories to try and forget?
it wasn't me who closed the door though..

oh well, move one Nella..you've been through tougher times and you're handling yourself very well up till now..i can't believe i just said that! i'm actually learning that it's not impossible to move on! lol

I'm holding up strong till now..pretending to be strong is more like whats going on..but that's how we move on right? bottling it up and putting that fake smile on..

ok..this got me a bit upset XD
..and it's long enough..I'm not gonna talk about experience #3
ugh..it's stupid like the two above anyways..

laters...

So Simple..

or When I first heard stacie Orrico's song : "so simple" I was like : OH! That's like..that's like ME!!
or how i wanna be..i'm not really sure lol

I just live this song! ^_^
nothing more to say really..
Here’s the video and the lyrics..
It just speaks of me

Video:



Lyrics:

(It could all be so simple, simple)
Don't need high heels
For a good feel


You can keep the fancy clothes
I'll take walkin in the rain
Over things material
I'll trade Melrose and the big names
Give me faces that I know
Just play a melody that everybody knows


Take it down, down, down
And strip it to the core
I don't really need much less is more, more, more

CHORUS:
True to life, true to me
The way it's got to be
So simple, so simple, so simple
Live to love, love to be
Absolutely free
(so simple, so simple, simple)


Give me wisdom, plain and truthful
Teach me somethin I don't know
Plain as education, inspiration I suppose (yeah yeah)
Give me family, on a Sunday
And I'll be just fine
There's nothing in the world
That's worth more of my time


Take it down, down, down
And strip it to the core
I don't really need much less is more, more, more


CHORUS:
True to life, true to me
The way it's got to be
So simple, so simple, so simple
Live to love, love to be
Absolutely free
(so simple, so simple, simple)


True to life, true to me
The way it's got to be
So simple, so simple, so simple
Live to love, love to be
Absolutely free
(so simple, so simple, simple)


Livin my dream,
is my song to the world (let 'em hear it)
Sharin' my soul and spirit
I'm hopin that you hear it
Got one (one) life (life) to live (live)
It's only what you make it (make it)

Currently

these are the things im currently doing :P

Watching:
Tsubasa Chronicle

Syaoran, a boy who wants to become an archeologist, and Sakura, a princess from the Clow Kingdom, are childhood friends with a close relationship. On a fateful night, Sakura lost all her memories as a result of a conspiracy to obtain her powers. In order to regain her memory, Syaoran seeks help from the witch, Yuuko. Yuuko tells Syaoran that he has to travel from one alternate reality to another to collect fragments of Sakura's memory. However, even if Sakura regains her memory, she will have no recollection of Syaoran. Travelling together with them is Kurogane, a warrior who was exiled from his country, and Fye, a magician who wants to escape from his King. With the help of a magical creature, Mokona, they set off on an exciting journey through time and space.

it's pretty nice..up till now I'm enjoying it ^_^ episode 12!


Listening To:


Daughtry

Christopher Adam "Chris" Daughtry (born December 26, 1979) is an American rock singer-songwriter and guitarist who is the lead vocalist of Daughtry, a popular rock band formed by him in 2006. He is perhaps best known as the fourth-place finalist on the highly publicized fifth season of American Idol, eliminated from the competition on May 10, 2006. After his departure from Idol, his band's self-titled debut album sold more than 1 million copies after just 5 weeks of release, becoming the fastest-selling debut rock album in Soundscan history^[1], and so far outselling his fellow season 5 contestants' (6th place Kellie Pickler, runner-up Katharine McPhee and the season winner Taylor Hicks) debut albums. In its ninth week of release, the album reached number 1 on the Billboard charts, edging out the Dreamgirls soundtrack. He is currently the best-selling Idol contestant who was neither the winner or runner-up of their season.

it's so worth checking you guys! I'm so into the 2 songs i downloaded so far! I'm downloading the album right now..I'll come back to this when i listen to all the tracks inshallah ^_^

here's a video:



Drinking:

Lipton Ice tea Peach!

i'm getting hooked on this..it's just refreshing and awesome! ^_^ i've been drinking 4 cans of this everyday for awhile now



Playing:

Kingdom Hearts II

s an action role-playing game developed by Square Enix Co., Ltd., partly published by Buena Vista Games, and directed by Tetsuya Nomura. Kingdom Hearts II was first released in 2005 in Japan for the Sony PlayStation 2 video game console. After one month of availability, it sold one million copies in North America and was the second best selling game of 2006.^[1]

Kingdom Hearts II is the follow-up to the 2002 PlayStation 2's Disney Interactive/Squaresoft RPG Kingdom Hearts, and its 2004 Game Boy Advance sequel, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. The story centers around a group of heroes searching for lost friends and trying to decipher and defeat the mysterious Organization XIII, along with a large cast of characters from both Disney and Square Enix properties.

this game is one of the coolest! i really like the fighting style..the story..and just the whole thing! ^_^ many Disney memories..oh btw! i highly recommend all the gamers out there to play this..i know im a bit late..and most if not all are done with this XD ..it just took me some time to get it..

and i'm almost done! :D


Studying:

absolutely nothing :P

weak..

once..

i was laughing with my sisters and mom was looking at me with that motherly smile

later on when she came to kiss me b4 going to sleep..she laid next to me touched my nose with her fingers and said : you have the most beautiful nose i ever saw you know? ..i of course blushed..don't get the impression my nose is perfect XD it isn't! ..mom was just being..mom! hehe

but then she had this more serious worried look on her face and said: why do you try so hard to look so tough? you're not..you're way too fragile then how you pretend to be..

i gotta tell you it felt as i've been stabbed..not that it hurt for her to tell me..but it hurts for someone to see through me this clearly when i was trying my best to hide it..

i just burst out crying..she hugged me and calmed me down..kissed me and ended up sleeping next to me.. well, it's not like i wanna share this painful moment with you or anything..im just..well,


lately..i'm feeling so weak..i just wanna stand in that strong wind outside and hope i get torn to tiny little pieces and vanish..
im collapsing and feeling really weak..

and mom is not here to calm me down and hug me..

mom? i need you....

How to Order a Contract Killing

How to Order a Contract Killing

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Our basic contracts start at $50,000 per head (plus expenses). The basic package consists of a cut and clean kill, which is accomplished either by means of firing two rounds of ammunition into the back of the head, or by firing a bullet from a distance through a high-powered sniper rifle. In either case the hit accomplishes the same results: the mark is dead, and someone will be wondering who killed him.

Ordering a Contract Killing in Five Easy Steps:

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Gift Certificates:

If you know someone who wants to have someone killed you can purchase a gift certificate, starting at $25,000. We will send you a 16-digit activation code that will have to be used to activate the gift certificate in the future. Gift certificates are valid for up to one year.

in bed..

so I was lying on my bed last night and well, usually that’s when I really start using my brain

Hehe..i was happy and a bit excited so I woke up and started typing this..cause I usually forget ^_^

So it’s 2:42 am ..and I’m typing what I was thinking about just a lil while ago while lying on my bed and kissing the pillow..

I know that most of my posts in here are just complains..but hey! That’s what a loser does best =P

Anyways..surprisingly this post is more like the opposite ^_^ I’m going to just say what I think of myself and the ppl I hold dear to my heart..Not just saying! This came after observation!

1- I’m very irresponsible and kiddy..but I’m kinda fun to be around..ppl say I never tell what I really think and I usually compliment ppl just to lift their spirits..i might be doing that but I also speak my mind umm, in away? and what harm can possibly be done? At least I make ppl happy! no?

2- I end up telling my feelings to the ppl close to me..what I like about them and how they make me happy..then I regret saying it coz mostly..it just make them do it on purpose..i like how they make me happy without knowing..like..spontaneously? and sometimes they hold them against me?

3- I’m so freaking lucky to have such a wonderful family ^_^ even though my dad can be a bit of a pain..well, not a bit but I still love him! Sometimes I never meet him for two days and i don’t miss him..but if he was supposed to fly to syria, KSA or Thailand..i start missing him right after he leaves..weird..

4- This post is a bit long =P so..gomen (sorry) hehe..

5- I always write what I wanna do in life..i start writing them done and then i lose the paper..i just wrote a few the other day and saved it..but it’s really a short list of what I once wrote..annoying…

6- My 17 years old sister is just amazing! She’s currently my roommate and we fight a lot hehe! But when I look at her..it makes me wonder how can someone be this amazing? She’s so beautiful..innocent and super talented! she’s a plumber, an electric technician, one hell of a video gamer, – oh btw! She’s a wining eleven freak! – she gets her way around the PC so perfectly..she draws ppl in..just like that. And a great deal of fun too! Whenever she cooks, food turn delicious and she looks like a women yet she acts like a boy..she doesn’t want to get married yet she wants babies..oh and we once asked her : what’s that thing you know you can’t do yet you dream of doing? She said : I want to be a homeless XD and she was serious hahaha..i love her ^_^

7- My older sister is VERY stubborn, bossy and a bit selfish =P but she handles the eldest job perfectly..she takes the word responsible to a new level..as long as I’m around her I feel safe and everything is alright..when she took off for college that whole year was just a waiting point in my life..just waiting to be with her again..everyone..even my parents used to say : you seem so lost without her..you don’t even smile the same way..
i just feel at home when I’m with her..even if a war was raging outside..and she was with me I’d feel safe..she knows every lil thing about me and she’s just amazing..oh! and she’s on hell of an artist! I love you! ^_^

8- I have so much to talk about so this might turn into a part 1! =P ..lets see…

9- Phat is one of the ppl I consider myself very lucky to have as a friend ^_^ he’s what you can confidently call: a true friend! .. He’s always there to help and to listen ..He’s very interesting and crazy ..He’s also very random ..Which makes him even greater! I also feel comfortable listening to him..and trying to make him feel better when he’s down..he has this comforting vibe..i love you! ^_^

10- My dad is the source of my oldest sister stubbornness, bossyness and selfishness ait’s like hers but X100? =P I’m for real! He’s also super overprotective..he’s got a great sense of humor..once you understand him..you’ll laugh your ass off ^_^ .. and he’s also one of the reasons I’m not that social..i’m just not used to being social after living with him for 17 years..or is it me? anyways, he’s very smart and very opinionated ..But yeah! i still love you baba ^_^

11- Mom..mom..i can have a blog just dedicated for this indescribable person..if I wrote about her as one of the many in here it’ll just be unfair..but I guess I can give you guys a hint, right? :P well, she’s a very kind person..she’s just the perfect mom anyone can ever ask for..i’m sure you all love your moms..but even if she wasn’t my mom I would still find her an angel..not coz she glows or that she’s kind and amazing..that’s just the truth..i just hope I die first..actually I hope I die b4 any of those I’m mentioning here..i came so close to some and I was born close to some..but I just can’t see my life without them anymore..mom? I love you ^_^

12- Sensei..what am I supposed to say here? Ok..first lets make sure all of my readers are 18+ LOL! Well, I’m kinda addicted to him lately..i just love spending time with him..sometimes I wonder..when you spend so much time with someone..will you get bored eventually? I don’t know..but I doubt it..and I sure don’t want that to happen! .. even when i’m not with him I feel like his with me..he’s smart, have potatoes for lunch and he goes out a lot too! Lol.. he’s also hell-arious! as in hilarious like hell? =P it’s funny how I used to hate his guts! Actually I can’t believe that I once hated him..I love you sensei! *hug* you are who you are eh?

13- Oblivious! This girl rocks! She’s beautiful from the inside out! So sweet and so much fun..i like how we get crazy together and mess with people’s heads =P she’s intellectual and dedicated to what she wants! ..She also gives second chances which is a very good thing..right? ;) she speaks her mind and i find her very easy to talk to..one of the ppl I really want to meet..some think online friendship is just 1s and 0s..me think not! How can all these feelings I have for those ppl be just cyber data? Oh..i miss her lately :( and did I mention how super sensitive she is? Hehe..I love you hon ^_^

14- Max..oh max! this dude is weird..rude, funny and sweet all at the same time..he kills me with his super rudeness sometimes but once you get to know him..oh..i mean once he gives you the chance to know him..you’ll just love him..he’s a genius..and most of the ppl I know are actually. I’m a genius’s magnet! When he cares he CARES! He often jump to WRONG conclusions =P and he hates the guts of Microsoft hehe..he’s old too j/k ..me love you ^_^

15- My 14 year old sister makes you truly understand the word weirdness =P ..there was a rumor going around that she lacks our magic .. yes me and my sisters are fairies.. and that makes sense really when you look at how weird she is..she keeps a lot to herself yet everything makes her cry! She’s the hardest to figure..she’s very smart and always the top of her class..she’s very creative and artistic..shes also very sensitive and the most ambitious of us..and she loves to hug! Umm, we all love to hug I guess :P she’s like ten times more of a daydreamer then me =P I know! That can’t be! But I love her weirdness and her weird ways of expressing herself..lulu? I love you ^_^

16- my youngest sister and the most adorable creature on earth is just..adorable hehe..she's so hyper and you just want to spend all the time with her..of course that's hard to manage but i still miss her right after i hug her..actually i miss her while hugging her.. ^_^ she's to me the best! even though she's 10 i just love talking to her about old ppl's stuff =P and asking her what she thinks about this and that..amuses me how she thinks..she's as well super talented..whenever she tries something she immediately becomes the best in it..didn't try her in the kitchen yet but i bet she'll surpass everyone ^_^ i love you Sarah!

17-hmm, it seems I'm the only one with no talents in the family..man..that sucks even more! don't get me wrong! I'm not jealous hehe.. sigh...

18-Morpha! he's so funny and sweet..even though i don't know him like the rest in here ,but i still find him a great friend..he seems to always be there when i need someone to be there the most..by accident? no! fate! lol. you rock ya sa3att al basha! ^_^

yaay! no part 2! ^_^ well, you'll only know there is no part 2 if you finished reading this..

*sigh*

just felt like sighing out loud ^_^

Childhood memories chapter 2:

So yeah…tomboys were the trend back then. And I was nothing close to one.
If we played (shur6a wa 7arami) I used to be caught right away and no! I was really giving it my all XD

Sure it was depressing since I always went out first and ended up waiting for a very long time for everyone else to be caught and for the game to start again. So It wasn’t fun and I began to skip the games. I bet they were grateful I did on my own. Not that they had a problem kicking me out of the game or complaining about me..

I was the last in almost everything!

I was the last to learn how to swim in the trio! Yup as hard as it is to believe I was a part of a gang.

I was!

But mostly they were forced to take me since we were close age-wise and whenever my grandma would spot me alone she’d scream her head off at the two of them and make them take me along on their weird treasure hunting trips XD
It wasn’t my fault! Why were they giving me the look! Grandma made them take me and made ME go along with them!

Well, to be honest I never blamed them for the looks coz normally treasure hunting involves climbing trees, walls or jumping around and I’m definitely going to slow them down and sometimes even trouble them when we go to places where I need the climbing skills to manage to return! Or go on!

But I wasn’t “completely” useless though

You see I was ........................“the shovel”!

Since it was a treasure hunt then I was supposed to be digging up the treasures they locate.

mostly it was digging up buried marbles -they buried them so I really can’t see how was it a treasure hunt- (lol)

To be continued…

my blog! my rules!

well, something triggered this..obviously :p

i was taking random pictures in my room one day which was something i never did in a while..about 2 years to be more exact and my sister was observing the whole thing and decided to comment when she saw me taking a picture of an ice cream i was eating and said : you're not planning on posting that on your blog are you?

i was like : maybe...

her: ugh..that's like so lame!

me: well, it's my freakin blog! i can post ******** if i want to!

it's my god damned blog! for god's sake! it's about me and what i do/think! if im eating ice cream and i wanted to blog about it then i blog about it!
if i'm in love and wanted to blog about my perfect boyfriend then i blog about him!

if i'm so not in the mood and wanted to blog about it then i blog about it!

*Inhales*....* exhales*

ok...laters

Valentine...

So it's valentine
Happy Valentine's Day you all ^_^

And to all those who are not alone…I hate you! :p

Childhood memories chapter 1

I really find it weird having a lot of my childhood memories flashbacking in an almost daily basis lately. why? well, coz I’m the day dreaming type so most of the time I wasn’t there to remember what happened.

It’s not like I remember everything of course..but the few I do remember are pretty clear ^_^

Starting with the age of two months! I remember when the plane took off! Yes I know I was 2 months old so I probably had no memory card placed in yet. But whatever..
Don’t believe me if you don’t want to, but I’m 100% sure I remember ^_^

Well, my childhood was some how happy. Even though back then all I felt was being…ah..I don’t know I can’t describe the feeling. But it wasn’t happiness that’s for sure! *rolleyes*

Anyways I was a bit too girly.
This earned me the cheerleading position in our neighborhood. I was the neighborhood cheerleader!!
And it’s weird, being the shyest quietest girl in the whole neighborhood and handling the cheering!! But cheering in my time was a bit different..

I used to cheer by sitting silently on the sidewalk and wait for the older boys to get tired of playing football so they come to me and I kiss them to recover.
I know I know! Sounds b!tchy! But I was 5! That covers it right? XD

Oh well, but I wasn’t that popular among the girls.. *sigh*
You see…being a tomboy was the trend back then..so me being the quiet daydreaming girl..umm, and a bit cute turned me into an outcast.

I never knew how to climb trees, run fast or ride bicycles
And it would be considered mere madness if someone suggested me as a player in a football team! The team I was supposed to join would protest and well, I’m sure they never meant it when they used to say:

That’s not fair! How come we get HER on OUR team?

The other team would reply: coz the teams gotta be even!

The cursed team: fine! Well, that’s not being even! She doesn’t count! She’ll probably be giving YOU the ball! - I was known to be a daydreamer. I was even replaced in a school dance when I was about 8. Coz I daydreamed once while preforming and it ruined the dance..what makes it worse is that it was preformed in front of some hotshot from the ministry of education - why don’t YOU take her?

The other “lucky” team: well, we chose first! Tough luck!!

Eventually I’ll either play with them and they’ll be swearing at me every time the other team scores or I’d just wait for the game to start and back off saying: I need to go to the bathroom! Continue! I might be late...

Well, mostly I’d lock myself in the bathroom and cry. I suppose you all agree that it hurts…

But I still think I would’ve made them win if they noticed my true potential! What’s that?
That I looked like the ball of course! They could’ve used me to confuse the other team! :p
Yup! I was a ball! Short and chubby (lol)

In fact my mom and aunts still wonder how did I grow up to be an average height person? Or even a bit taller than average :p

To be continued…

hum..pretty woman

So I went to Carrefour to shop with my little sister the other day..and as we went from an isle to the next..

getting the stuff on the list and crossing them out..we noticed that almost EVERY guy that passed by us was humming a song!

and only guys! all the ladies were minding their own business and humming nothing XD

i was like : is it the national humming day?

There was no songs playing in the place..and as I noticed only a few people had there iPods on :p
It was really weird..but it made me think..when do people hum anyways? When they’re happy? Or do they just hum?

I’ve been humming myself the past two days (pretty woman…walking down the street, pretty woman….)

And I won't say i'm happy..I’m just, the usual me..and when was the last time I heard pretty woman anyway? 5 months ago? XD

Tagged!

Tagged by 3T ^_^

What will happen to your e-mail when you die?

get deactivated?

Did you try once to give the password to someone? If yes, what kind of relation that you have with this person to trust him/her and give him/her the key of your secrets?

two ppl! a friend and someone else *winks*

Your famous nickname among your Friends?

i've got so many nicknames! but the most famous would be angel

Your age?

19

Your horoscope?

Aquarius

Your qualifications?

TEFL and no it's not TOFEL!! TEFL stands for (teaching English as a foreign language) : yes, as hard as it is for you to believe i'm going to be an english teacher..

Your character "personality"?

sweet, stubborn, lazy beyond anyone's imagination and extremely imaginative

What travel means to you?

a dream! its on top of my list of the things i wanna do in life ^_^

What do you purchase?

mostly, what i don't need! :p

Features taken from your dad

Legs. And I'm so grateful for them :p

Stubbornness

Musical ear?

Features taken from your mom

Kindness

Love for books

Nails

The most 6 things you hate-

Arrogance

Being misunderstood

Bad smells

Over-protectiveness

Liars

Making promises you'll never fulfill

The most 6 things you love-

My family

Pizza

Traveling

Music

My orange pillow

Languages

What computer and internet mean to you Currently?

It's My sanctuary, a place to be with friends and another source of life and knowledge.

You would like to pass this tag to:-

no one? or do i have to?

i'm really not bothered coming up with a title...

So I’m sitting online with nothing to do..I decided to look around blogs..it's weird reading all these personal stuff about people you never or hardly know..someone who's grieving over a dead relative, some family wedding problems, love poems, Oman won a match videos, etc..

But the personal stuff remains the best to read! Well, that's just me

for example: I just saw someone I know but never saw before! And I gotta say it's like a 1-80 difference from the picture I had in mind! Hot stuff! :p
i can relate to the way they think and the way they look now..being an expert in imagining helps alot! hehe..

I’m almost 20 ..two weeks to go and as I view the past 19 years it feels as if I lived them all in denial..how whenever reality hit me (and most of the time it hits me with some bad stuff) I just isolate myself and daydream of a better one and then just move on with the better reality in mind..

To be honest? Compared to others my life is heaven! But no one is living happily..thats what suck about life! Some are worried about when their next meal will be, while some worry about turning 20 or having no talents! As big the difference is as the same effect it has! We still worry and get stressed!

So I told you about me having no talents even though the most disagrees I still think I have none..the word talented is a bit different in my dictionary I guess..
it doesn't mean making the best pasta..it means being an Italian chef! It doesn't mean being good in basketball! It means being Michael Jordan in it!

It hurts when I see people good in a lot of things..and I mean GOOD as in my dictionary's definition of TALENTED! While I’m just an average in everything I do..

Can’t I be a guy for a day? Just to see how men think and feel?
Can’t I be Angelina Jolie for a day? I bet her life is exciting!
Can’t I meet a fairy? God knows I’m soo dying to...

I have so many dreams to fulfill..and I’m already 20! XD

laters

Randomness - Craziness - Childishly speaking

I’m gonna turn 20 soon and I hate it! People usually look forward for their birthday..Well, the people I know do and I’m not really looking forward for it like the other passed ones..Except for the presents! Yeah! That’s something I can never stop looking forward to, hehe :p

It’s not because of the wrinkles or anything.im just not ready to be 20 yet! I’m not mature enough to be twenty! I’m so kiddy. And whenever someone is pissed at me they start calling me, Miss Irresponible..Seriously..Oh well, I guess the world has more important things to worry about then me turning 20! I mean even my complaining sound so immature! Ugh! It’s not like something I can help so I better get over it..

So many things to get over..

Ever been depressed to the point that you wanted to paint your room black? I have!


I got my grades the other day. Not the ones I was looking for. I did so well in my exams..and finals were alright as well. I really don't care to be honest..I wasn't studying seriously..It went well after all I guess..

Is it wrong to have friends you love and trust even though you've never met? It’s fine with me but others seem to be making it a big deal! What is a friend anyways? Isn’t he/she the one who listens? Help you when you’re in need? Cheer you up? Make your day? Feel like you can be yourself with?

Well, that what makes a friend to me..

Oh by the way, I never make sense most of the times so feel free to try and get some sense outta that…

laters

No talent No cry?

Well, I’ve been asked this question a few times..I always end up with an embarrassment smile..you could obviously tell the answer was NO..i guess it was written on my forehead.. but, the first time I was asked I was thinking really hard and came up with absolutely nothing..i said : no I don't think I have a talent..of course it kept me awake for a couple of nights tossing and turning and all that drama..
thinking how can someone be so damn useless hopeless and the "less" wouldn't stop up until i reached "pathetic" that’s when I shed a few tears..and fell asleep..

to the ones who know me you'd probably say: "NAH! you're not useless, hopeless,.......................pathetic!"
and to the ones who don't then i bet you are rolling your eyes with the thought "Geez, such a drama queen!"

well, how would you feel if you realized you're a good for nothing human being? won't you be acting drama queenish? won't you feel really hopeless, helpless, useless.......pathetic?

I’m a good for nothing human being and I do believe it.. well, let’s not exaggerate I think that to some extent XD

I have no talents..I’m anti-social, I’m not so good in almost everything. How can someone alive be so hopeless, helpless, useless.......pathetic you say?
Well, I don't really know if the reason is me living in my own invented Neverland with me being good in everything..or me being truly hopeless, helpless, useless.......pathetic made me live in my own invented Neverland!
Ugh again I’m confused!
Confusion = dead end..

Oh well, I guess I do feel a bit better sharing this with you..

Laters

Fake

I hate this word! I hear it a lot and most of the time it's misused!

is it fake to smile when you meet a family member when you see them almost everyday and your not that enthusiastic about it?
is it fake to be extra nice to people in general?
is it fake to want love and peace?

Well, if fake = love then count me in..
I’m a FAKE and I’m proud to be!
I love my family and to tell the truth I’m obsessed with them..I'd smile every time I meet them..i'd hug them and kiss them and smile whenever my eyes meet any of them..even if I’m not the "enthusiastic" about it..
Would you like an icy face to welcome you? Would you feel the warmth of their love?

Even if they're not that happy to meet me I’d still "fake" a smile and stick it on my face..

Ok this got me a bit upset.. XD

If you read this I hope you're "faking" a smile now..

laters

Rain Music

Rain...

To some people Rain is an omen...it resembles sickness, darkness and sometimes death..to others it's a sign of prosperity..When the earth quenches it's thirst and bloom..


Where I live. Raining is a very special event..I remember being 7 and as childish as i'm always am..Whenever the sky had a couple of dark clouds I would start jumping by the window and praying it'll rain. Please god..Please let it rain...
Most of the time the wind would blow the two little clouds away so it'll rain elsewhere..like the Indian Ocean needs more water.


But when it rains all the kids would go crazy.I remember us screaming..and hastily running outside with our mouths open so wide! inviting the pure drops from heaven to fall in.the luckiest would be the one who got to swallow the largest amount of it...
sometimes it rains so hard that our parents won't let us go out...even sneaking was hard...though sometimes one of us manages to get out and tries to get as wet as she can before someone comes and take her back in...we'd be staring out the window with our eyes full of tears..

Silently listening to the sacred rain music..