Falling stars and Crazy thoughts.

I've been seeing lots of falling stars lately..and it looks like I'm not the only one! 'cause TripleTee mentioned the same thing on her blog: "people never bother to look up to see that they actually appear every now and then" falling stars that is, in case you're slow (like me) :P

you should've seen me last Thursday, i was lying on the backyard's ground, with my hands behind my head..staring at the vast pretty space for hours on end. we stayed for a long time at my grandpa's this Thursday. we left around 3 AM! a new record! :P
it was nice..the weather was amazing. and we could clearly see the laser coming from Qurum's Park. it was gently brushing the stars scattered up above. ^_^

the one I've seen this time, fell so vertically. like a drop of water, hanging desperately on the edge of the water faucet, trying not to give up to this hardheaded gravity.
it failed, and fell...

so fast..so straight..so vertical.. and somewhere between my uncle's wall and his banana-like tree.. it vanished. like how fire vanishes when it hits the water. ever saw fire dying into the water? pretty amusing!

anyway, letting you into my hectic days and crazy thoughts that i've been having lately:

:: my cell phone has been dead for almost 8 days now. i have people to congratulate for Eid, but somehow i can't seem to make myself charge the damn thing. maybe I'm too lazy, but it seems like i don't want to..

it's not like i don't miss anyone, or i don't want to talk to them..it's just that..I'll be socializing my very unsocialized ass on Eid, and I'll be suffocating if i had more people to interact with..sigh, or maybe this is just a lame excuse..
I'm not sure really.

:: I'm back to my reading obsession. *happy*

:: I've developed an obsession with motorbikes. it's like i want to ride one ( a black KTM Duke) so bad..it hurts! xD

:: I've decided not to get married until the age of 25. for superficial, materialistic yet ingeniousnesstic << (made this one up) reasons lol..don't ask!

:: i came to understand that i have a very confused allergy.

:: I've stopped using my gift for awhile now, i actually thought i lost it until recently. it just popped in my head; i made that decision myself! the poor gift had nothing to do with it! (stop blaming others for your mistakes dammit!)

:: to whomever is reading this right now: seriously, com'on, lets be honest..are you even getting 20% of what I'm saying?

:: metal (the genre) sends a rush all over my body..i love it! and since no one around me is into it. it feels so special and dear to me. like it's only mine. ( i know it isn't but well...)

:: the word "levitate" has been on my mind for days now..it came to me all of a sudden, and i can't seem to be able to shake it off somehow, i can't stop thinking about it..it's between every two thoughts in my head, thats a lot! if you took into consideration the million thoughts that cross my mind on a daily basis.

:: i was never a fan of the British accent. but lately? whenever i think of sexy..i think of it. hot! xD

:: i wrote a poem...lol, Nella wrote a poem haha. and i had good reviews as well. lol the irony. i don't even get the whole poetry business!!

:: there is a 65% chance that I'll be etching a tattoo somewhere around my body whenever my parents aren't looking.

:: for a first day of Eid, this one passed rather smoothly, not so bad actually. uh! thank you god. ^_^

I'm starving..bye now!

Colbie Caillat - CoCo

You thought we'd be fine

all these years gone by
now your askin me to listen
well then tell me bout everything
no lies we're loosin time

Cause this is a battle
and its your final last call
it was a trial, you made a mistake, we know (cant you see you hurt me soo)
but why arent you sorry, why arent you sorry, why?
this can be better, you used to be happy, try!

this is my favorite album of the year. ^_^ absolutely amazing!
i love each and every song on it.

even though i keep playing certain songs, i'm not sure if they're my favorite, i can't tell which is my favorite. hmm..

it's pure awesomeness! music-wise, voice-wise and lyrics-wise.
her voice is just so warm and calming, and it's associated with wonderful lyrics too.

Bubbly :: video

Track listing:

1. "Oxygen"
2. "The Little Things"
3. "One Fine Wire"
4. "Bubbly"
   
5. "Feelings Show"
6. "Midnight Bottle"
7. "Realize"
8. "Battle"
9. "Tailor Made"
10. "Magic"
11. "Tied Down"
12. "Capri"
13. "Older (iTunes Bonus Track)"

laptop

Well, apparently I like to talk about "nothing" -_-
'cause when I have something to talk about I get tongue-tied (in this case it's finger-tied).

Lots of things happened this summer and I'm not even the least interested to write about them, maybe laters, when I'm back to my sucky dorm room, with nothing better to do =P

Anyways, my laptop died on me a couple of days ago. Maybe it's turning into a habit? I don't know..
I bought a freakin "my book" so I can transfer all my important stuff in it, and I was planning to do so in a couple of days, but now I've lost everything and it sucks..sigh

This Whole incident reminded me of one of my bad laptop days, lol..I still laugh whenever I remember it.
I was online, browsing what could highly be sabla lol, and on the table next to me was a nice full bottle of freshening cold water. Suddenly the phone rang! And it was lying next to me on the bed, I stretched out to grab it and I'm not sure if it 's 'cause I'm clumsy, or maybe 'cause I got excited,
Uhh, or! my laptop was just thirsty.. xD

anyways, I answered the phone with a happy "HI!"
Then stood there frozen as the water poured on my laptop..

Nella: oh my god..
POTP (person on the phone): what?
Nella: water is pouring on my laptop!
(Started drying it.)
POTP: switch it off!
Nella still trying to dry it and still saying: oh my god!
POTP: SWITCH IT OFF!!
(Done drying, and now holding it upside down, with water dripping from it)
Nella: There is water inside!! :'(
POTP: just switch it off!!
Nella: ok.. (Switched it off)
Nella: I'm screwed!
POTP: (laughing)..you should've switched it off when I asked you too!
Nella: am….I was trying to dry it..
POTP: ok, lets hope you're lucky enough that nothing got to the motherboard, just leave it to dry a few days,..ugh! 3aneeda!! (stubborn!!)
Nella: *sniff*.. :(

and I did, left it to dry for three days, and on the third day, I switched it on while saying my prayers xD
And it was perfectly fine! ^_^

So POTP? If you're reading this, thank you! =P

thank you

I learned from you that I do not crumble

I learned that strength is something you choose
All of the reasons to keep on believin',
There's no question, that's a lesson
I learned from you

I'm grateful for all of the times
You opened my eyes

Thinking: noses, dad, trains, nintendo DS, tattoos and white walls.
Drinking: we're out of cold water..so it's room temp water :(
listening to: one fine wire and feelings show.
watching: D.Gray-man, Claymore, school rumble and prison break.
Missing: someone's laugh.
Doing: trying to keep myself from smiling as I'm typing this. lol


yes i know, this is not a serious update..but the draft i have right now needs some editing and I'm sleepy at the moment..gomenasai!
sigh..i miss blogging! ^_^

and what not..

doesnt it make you thirsty? it's a drawing btw ;)

Nothing happens in my life! There is so much drama in my cousin's and nothing in mine..and I'm jealous! I need some drama..the last drama I had was running away from that suspicious looking bagger! And I kinda think it doesn't count.. There was no adrenaline running through my veins at the moment.

I'm going to re-read all the Agatha Christie books I've got..well, not all all! But most, since there is a few where I remember the murderer, and it's no fun reading her books when you already know who did it >_>

So my book list for the summer is longer and I'm happier lol

I've been working on this project of my own.. I've been collecting notes and silly stuff that are attached to important memories I have, and now I want to put it all in one huge notebook..so that I can keep it all in one place.
My treasure!
And I can also show it to my grandchildren in the future ^_^ ..if i lived that long.

I'm really excited about it since I've been planning this for 2 years now, and I've been keeping stuff no matter how silly, old, broken they are, for as long as I can remember!

I have this blonde doll my mom got me when I was 8..it's missing an arm and her hair is in absolute disarray..but it's alive and it's safely kept on the upper shelf of my closet. I can't mention her name since you'll probably start rolling on the floor laughing :P

and i have this ancient orange peelings that has been cut to four letters : L O V E

isn't that romantic? :P

...there is so many stuff I wanna buy, but I'm broke. And it doesn't feel so good being broke :(

but I gotta admit I'm happier than ever, detaching myself from many things I used to be attached to, has giving me a better sense of..of..well, a better sense of something..and it's something good ^_^

Ja naa!

Arwen?

I just had a wakeup call
Wishing that I never let you fall
Baby your not to blame at all
When i'm the one that pushed you away
Baby if you knew I care
You never would’ve went nowhere
I should have been right there


Watching: Claymore, Daa! Daa! Daa! and Oman TV
Wishing: i was back home..
Drinking: water..
Missing: Home..
Worried about: Kushka
Thinking: grief, hugs, Books, fire, black nail polish and nuggets

my mom just told me I'm cold! :S and even if i care i don't show it!

i just don't feel so good right now..
and I'm so so so so tired..I'm in a (i wish i can sleep and never wake up) mood...

second final exam..Hall 9

days are passing so slowly this week..of course if i was the studying type I'd like it, since I'll be having more time to study..but I'm not!

i screwed up in today's exam..the thing is, i focused on the hard part thinking I'm not quite good at it..turns out I'm good! i answered all of the them correctly ^_^ ...i think

anyways, got the paper and stared at the first question:
umm,..................ok
lets move on to question 2 and come back to this later
2nd question: .........................

now sweat drops were forming on my forehead..with the thought of : 'I'm screwed! 20 marks gone!!"

took a deep breath and calmed myself down..flipped the page and moved to question 3, then I started answering all the Qs i know..turns out I'm quite good with mathematic stuff lol ..i guess i got all 30 right.

after revising twice, I went back to page one and started squeezing my brains hoping I'll remember something.
5 minutes have passed and my body started to ache from sitting for almost an hour on that uncomfortable chair..
plz remember something Nella! anything!

then..a ray of light came through and i remembered the answers of two Qs.. started to feel better and tried to remember the answers of the other 2 Qs..no use.
so I gave up, and answered depending on my point of view..which is highly wrong lol

i gotta admit that the thought of writing some stupid stuff like: plz don't fail me or something as stupid did come across my mind, and was somehow tempting lol

then, I went to Question two..which was a one line question that said : describe bla bla bla in details.

and i had to fill that whole page!
it was a 10 marks question!
i tried and tried but nothing came to me..so i decided I'll answer it in my own Nellie way! ^_^

as i was answering i realized my Arabic is getting worse..and then thought..I'll have to start reading some good Arabic books once exams are over..i have a few in mind..


you should stop reading now 'cause things are going to get cheesier xD


we had three Doctors monitoring the class..3 men..

Dr. 1: an Egyptian funny man who kept joking.

Dr.2: an Iraqi strict with a loud voice..he kept yelling, for some reason >_>
i remember seeing him b4 in the uni's corridors but i've never spoken to him or anything..and the weird thing is, when he first came in he looked at me and smiled..i thought: maybe he's smiling to the girl behind me.

then i noticed that he kept smiling at me whenever i raised my head..wasn't sure though.. but when i was done and handed him the paper he smiled at me again..i was like :S ok... now I'm sure it's me lol

Dr. 3: this one was absolutely charming! an Iraqi doctor..i've seen him b4, he's not that old.. I'd say early 30s, and since i have this habit of sniffing when a good looking man approaches lol..i sniffed, and he smelled so good! xD

now i know what you're thinking! of course you screwed up the exam! you weren't paying attention!

i was! seriously..i just sniffed when he gave me the paper..
umm, and when he came to check my I.D and all those other weird silly procedures..but thats about it! i promise!

he looks religious with quite a big yet well-trimmed beard..but seriously! hot! lol

once he asked for the I.D i got all nervous and tried to hand it so that i don't touch his hand. It was kinda funny how both of us tried holding it in many different ways just to avoid touching hands...
well, we ended up touching xD twice!


one more exam and I'm off..All the best to me! ^_^

Realizations

If there's a prize for rotten judgment
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!

Note: before you go on reading..i have this major headache right now..something i haven't had in about 3 years, so THIS might just be the result of the chemical explosions happening inside my skull at the moment..

I just realized that:

1. I'm so self-absorbed to the point that it's not funny anymore! i noticed that I rarely think about things going around me..if it has no Nella in it then I don't think about it..which to me is very wrong!

2. my life is so boring..it hurts to wake up everyday.

3. I can actually play the piano! ^_^

4. I love caps.

5. I had so many goals to achieve when i was 13..7 years have passed and I'm not one step close to any of them..

6. working out feels good!

7. I wear my glasses once every two weeks..only!

8. I noticed that when my heart is involved my brain stops functioning..and same goes if it was my brain..my feelings just can't get involved..aren't they supposed to be partners? work together?
isn't known that we should think with both our heart and mind? if i was thinking or into an emotional state..i just stop growing mentally..
and now i just don't feel that much..and I'm pissed! lol

this thought is getting me down..it sux to feel so...Deficient..and somehow stupid..

is it cause I have so much on my mind to think about other things? then again, shouldn't i be trying to get rid of all these Nella-thoughts? so that I get the chance to think about other important things? ugh..nevermind


9. my diet is very very very unhealthy! i've been eating shawarma for three days now! xD

10. I miss reading..

11. my phone is outta battery! I don't even know how..since i charged it yesterday and it never rings!

12. I’ve made some ppl in my life a priority, when I'm just an option in theirs P.s: thanx sweetness lol

13. I have nothing better to do thats why I'm blogging!

oh look..if it isn't lucky 13! ^_^

hm?

well, I've passed my teenage days..i don't know why I'm still so damn confused lol

is it true that when you're too nice, you become more like a doormat
and people start walking all over you?

well, i've been asking this Q to almost everyone i know and they keep telling me being too nice is ok, as long as you don't care for the wrong people..well, how am i supposed to freaking tell who's worth it and who's not? I'm no psychic! I'm just a too nice 20 year old..umm, woman?

ugh, why can't people be a bit easier to figure out?
i was fine being an anti-social..I was doing perfectly fine.
I'm still not social but now i know some people..and it's pretty tiring..relationships suck! all kinda relationships!

sigh...i mean can't they just be the real them before i get attached? at least i wont give a damn when i let them go..but i guess there is no pleasure without pain..wait..what am i talking about? what pleasure? xD

i need food..haven't had a thing all day and it's almost over..

oh well, until i know who's worth it and who's not, noodles..here i come.^_^

Mixed Emotions..

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness but i don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive

'cause eveytime we touch
I get this feeling
and eveytime we kiss
I swear i could fly
Can't you feel my hear beat fast
I want this to last
Need you by my side.

yaaay! at last! ^_^ we've finished KH2! (kingdom Hearts 2) ..umm,...to the ones who don't know what am I talking about..its a playstation game.

i was holding my breath at the end hoping no one dies..and no one did! ^_^ awesome ne?




anyways..letting you into my daily life..my first final is on the 27th..and I'm not done studying..actually i just read a couple of pages..I'm not feeling guilty or anything really..but today while talking to mom she asked how's studying going and if I'm ready for finals..
I said: going great! ^_^

i lied..and now i feel weird.. :(

I'll be getting a good mark anyways..but..i don't know..it's just with mom, whenever i lie to her..i feel guilty..




Pirates of the Caribbean 3 is out! and i can't wait to finish finals and go see it..i don't care if it's not as good as the first two..i don't care if it sucks! it's a 2 hour and a half of Johnny Depp..thats all that matters to me ^_^
..superficial, i know..but well,..it's Johnny Depp, i really can't help it.

I'm literally counting down the days till I'm back home..i miss mom, my sisters, dad, home..my bed.. i miss Oman..the roads of Muscat..the smell of palm tress in my Grandpa's Farm.. and the water! i miss swimming like never before..sure i look forward to summer every year so i can soak myself for hours in the swimming pool..relaxing my whole body so it starts floating on its own..but this time its different..it's like i need to be in water..
just can't wait!
..feels so good when the water goes through your hair..as if it was playing with it..


oh well,...2 weeks to go! ^_^

this is a song I'm so into lately..thought of sharing it with you..here:
Cascade - Everytime We Touch


P.s: I need Pizza :'(

..........

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

thinking: Wind,..Sleeping,..hands..Swimming pool..
Listening To: Lost to Apathy
Doing: staring into space..
Missing: myself 6 Months back..
Playing: Tekken 5
Watching: Naruto: Shippuuden 14

A day in the life of my Mailbox

From: Nella's friend
To: Nella
Date: 18/5/2007
Time: 8:42 PM

Nellie girl!

How are you? Still dreaming about swimming? Cool water and not a care in the world?

What are you thinking about lately?

----------------------

From: Nella
To: Nella's friend
Date: 18/5/2007
Time: 9:03 PM

i'm doing fine thank you..yourself?

i get excited when i receive a message lol..'cause it's mostly you and i somehow look forward to your messages

no I'm not still dreaming about swimming..i've found something better to do..counting down the days till I'm in the water!

well,..lately I'm thinking of..umm, trusting people..

it's not fair! ..some people leave after making it so hard for you to trust again..and when you meet someone new you get all confused and not sure what to do..it wont be fair not to trust them 'cause of someone else's doing! ..it's their chance after all, but then again..they might hurt you the same way the ones before did..

sometimes i wish i was a seer.. foretelling the future..it sure will avoid a lot of pain and disappointment..

..am i making any sense? funny how am always complaining to you..i always manage to find something to complain about xD

hope you and you're family are doing well..Take care

-----------------------------------

From: Nella's friend
To: Nella
Date: 18/5/2007
Time: 9:21 PM

Awww, Nellie, you make me blush... I look forward to seeing your name on the screen..."Nella...Nella...Nella..." It always makes me smile...like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. I'm always in a better mood after I see you around...even if I thought I was in a good mood to start with...

And I LOVE to hear you complain! You were talking about trust; that's what it feels like. When you trust me and tell me what's in your heart, it's a bit magical. Like you would feel if you were sitting in a park and a bird suddenly came and landed on your finger! Ohhhh...! Keep still! Don't disturb it! Look at it carefully with wide eyes. Be very careful and maybe it will come back again...or stay awhile...or clean its feathers a bit...or close its eyes and take a nap right there on your finger! And you can feel its little heart beating so fast beatbeatbeatbeatbeat!

I think you have to decide who to trust on a case by case basis. But there are only two choices in a general way for dealing with people:

1. To refuse to get hurt any more and get hard like a rock; or

2. To decide to allow yourself to get hurt and take risks and trust anyway.

I think General Attitude number 2 is the better way. Love always involves pain, but without trust there is no love. And keeping yourself closed off ends up hurting you worse than anything else in the world.

But...you will get beat up and abused. People suck. But at the same time: people are wonderful!

I think the trick--to the extent there is a trick--is to learn slowly to replace instinctual trust with a decision to trust. You learn to keep your eyes open and to love and trust while expecting pain and knowing that you will be let down.

When you are getting ready to trust, ask yourself: Am I ready to risk getting hurt? And if you are: then trust--and hope for the best. And sometimes, you will get a happy surprise instead of any unhappy one. Because life is sad and miserable and people are more horrible than you think. But also: life is lovely and beautiful and people can surprise you with how much more beautiful they can be than you expect!

They can be like sun on the branches or a bird landing on your finger when you least expect it. And then you remember that life is worth living.

----------------------------------

From: Nella
To: Nella's friend
Date: 18/5/2007
Time: 9:48 PM

oh my..seriously? every message from you is like a lesson! I'm so glad you're my friend ^_^

and life goes on

i know i always complain..i know i get easily depressed..well, I'm not doing it this time you know why? coz life is good to me lately..really, feels like everything is falling into place

isn't weird when you think to yourself that it all sucks and nothing is going right in your life before going to bed and once you wake up and start your day..all the things you wanted to happen are happening?

i don't even dream now..well, for a few days now.. and it's a relief really..it's like, i don't have to worry when I'm sleeping and i don't have to worry when I'm up! isn't that just awesome?

i also realized that sometimes you just can't do the things you want to do, even if you wanna do them so bad..there is something stopping you and i think it's..well, i don't know what it is..but its there! ok?
true! I'm a very senseless human being but lately it feels like there is this line that i just cant cross! imagine this pile of gold 10 feet away from you, and you can almost smell it! but between you and the gold is this line that you just cant cross! its like your feet wont move!
as bad as you want it you know its wrong to have it, coz it's not yours obviously! ugh ok! i suck when it comes to giving examples..but I'm really tying.
anyways..so thats how i feel..lol i guess the line I'm talking about would be common sense.

now I'm going through a desensitizing point..and I'm feeling good about it..i have this "over" thing going on with me since..i was born!
i overcare and therefore overreact, overbla, overbla...overetc, ....and guess what? I ain't doing it anymore.. coz when i overcare i get worried..and I'm worried I'm down..and when I'm down I'm not happy! so in order to be happy..i just have to loosen up a bit and don't give a **** about it. simple ne? ^_^

a week ago..i was complaining to a dear wise friend of mine about someone..he told me what he thinks and how i should handle it.
lets just say that i wasn't strong enough to go with his advice..but somehow it kinda happened on it's on..it just worked itself out! how lucky can someone be? note: I'm usually jinxed..no kidding ..i'm contagious! i jinx the ppl around me >.<
I'm kinda getting worried though..my entries are getting shorter lol..i'm not even that talkative anymore!

Rubbing it off

so i was wondering the other day about the things that get rubbed off on us without us wanting them..

i personally blame my subconscious lol :P no really..think about it..if someone you know had this horrible habit or quality that you utterly detest! yet coz of former experiences you find yourself scared of them rubbing it off on you due to the daily interaction between you and them.

ok..to make it more clear I'll share a former experience k?

i had this Bahraini friend who used to say hindia (indian) instead of stupid..and it was really getting on my nerves to the point that i told her : why do you associate Indians with stupidity? thats kinda racist you know!

anyways..days went by and I went back home for my summer vacation..and guess what was the new word added to my dictionary? yup! hindia! xD

now even though i really hated HER saying it..I became the one saying it! and it came out of my mouth all on it's own! very naturally..

you just get used to it, and unconsciously start using it..what does that tell you? that I have no personality? that I'm very insecure to the point that I'm afraid of such things rubbing off on me? should i be more sure about myself? well, WRONG! thats not it..it happens all on it's own ok? sure you can control it..i mean..I'm not saying hindia anymore, but the point I'm trying to make here is..it has nothing to do with my personality nor insecurity!

expectations and some other stuff

in two weeks time I'll be studying for my finals which'll start at the end of this month..true i only have 3 subjects to study this semester but they're kinda hard so I'll be studying..

sigh,..been almost two years since i actually did something that I'd call studying..now i know thats bad lol, but i kinda forgot how to study properly and i get As anyways..

my family came to visit last weekend..and it was by far the best weekend i've had in years! i just had a very pleasant time ^_^

i ate what i wanted to eat..i watched the movie i wanted..i had the Nachos i wanted lol, stayed up all night laughing my ass off with my sisters, spent a very nice time in the car with my parents..talking about everything from politics and religion to food, Japanese and playstation lol! -my dad doesn't know how to play playstation but he likes watching us play..silent hill is his favorite game..like me and all of my sisters :P
seriously..nothing better than dad calling us upstairs to play instead of studying ;) -

also something kinda funny happened to me while i was flipping Metal CDs in Virgin megastore in Dubai city centre..as we all know, Virgin D.J's and workers are super HOT! lol
tall, broad chest, sharp eyes and tattoos *faints*
anyways. I'm kinda into Metal lately and i've never checked it's section before so i thought i should..unfortunately i was the only one standing there and i was wearing Abaya..

once i stepped foot into the section this lady came and asked me if I'm looking for something..of course i knew that she probably thinks I'm lost and came in the wrong section -_-

i looked at her..smiled and said : oh..no, I'm just looking around.. ^_^

and then said :thank you!

*lost data*

A piece of my mind

Sigh..

I was trying not to sigh for a week now..and its not going so good, my ribcage hurts when I breathe now, I think it’s because of the so many unsighed sighs trapped in lol! Well, I’m kinda serious here..ahem..

I noticed that I think about “what happened” more than “what will happen next” I’m always looking back and its keeping me there I guess..

You know what sux more than someone close to you getting depressed? Well, everyone around you getting depressed! Im trying to live with it and hoping it wont last that long..but so far..everything is just the same..

Depression is in the air!

Why am I so talkative with some (very few) ppl and almost mute with others?

its bothering me! I’m not sure if I’m talkative or not..i mean, I’m mostly quiet (surprisingly) but with some (again very few) ppl I just cant freakin shut up! Its like I want them to know everything I know, everything I think about, everything I feel and even my random useless thoughts..seriously just the other day I went : hey! I’ve learnt a new thing about me today and I’ve also learnt a new word! ^_^

now who would really be that interested in knowing such thing? -_-

I mean, unless you want to make fun of me and go : oh! Oh! That’s awesome! Plz! Do tell! This is very interesting! ^_^

LOL! I’d laugh if someone did that by the way..just imagining hahaha

Anyways..all the above is useless wondering of Miss Nella’s..the real update is the following :

Nella’s “to do” list May 2007

1- Stop counting!

2- Less thinking about every tiny lil thing..yes, including what the bus driver might be feeling at the moment XD

3- Stop drinking 3 bottles of barbican a night..it sure feels like beer and its powerful enough for you swallow your tears..but it’s just tempo so..quit dammit!

4- Should consider taking a vacation away from Neverland and go somewhere new..umm, maybe..Reality?

5- Call grandma!

6- Wash clothes.

7- Talk to the dorm’s supervisor about the hallway’s broken light.

8- Clean the dusat off SHANTARAM and read it.

9- For once..not care.

10- Sleep…( I’m very very very tired….)

P.S: i've never had beer before..im just assuming..and what i'm counting is NOT money! i wish it was though :P

dreams, signs and shooting stars : chapter 1 (dreams)

lately i've been having weird dreams..things that don't make much sense all together but once it's interpreted it has all sorts of signs..but signs will be discussed later on..now lets focus on dreams

4 years back i used to think: hey! how come most of my dreams are not that interesting? and the ones that might be are lost somewhere in my skull - thats 'cause i don't remember the ones i wake from crying or well, feeling weird - i wish i had interesting dreams..i wish i have an interesting life lol..then again if i led an interesting life, i wont find other ppl's lives that interesting and..well, i really like being fascinated by such..ummm, baloneys :P

well, I'm more like a perfectionist..you know? the ones Oprah makes fun of? yup..i like to start my new plans and resolutions by the beginning of the week/year/decade/century/whatever and i end up doing nothing XD

lol of course no one lives a whole century..well, some do, but i really don't want to live that long..hey! imagine i live a 100 years! ugh just the thought of it XD
again i really don't mind the wrinkles..but i really really really mind outliving my loved ones

hey! i just noticed! I'm 2 decades old! coool! and in 5 years I'll be 25! hmmm,..by the time I'm 25 I'd like to have my 1st kid ^_^ that'll be nice..

ugh focus! focus dammit! i mean..what does being a perfectionist have to do with me starting my plans at every week/decade? sigh..and my 1st baby? and the topic is about dreams..my god the unbelievable straying! XD

why do i always start talking about something and then drift elsewhere? not a good habit..especially if the one you're talking to is..well, never mind
it'll just get me drifting again..

so where were we? ^_^ oh right..dreams

yeah..lately my dreams are very weird and i keep asking for interpretations..like the night b4 last night i had this dream with me bleeding so much..it was unbelievable the amount of blood i had in me lol..i mean i bled so much! but i still didn't get the interpretation for this one..

once i do and it's worth mentioning or not too personal..i will share it with you guys ok? ^_^

and last night well, i had this weird, crazy and silly dream..i dreamt... well, i was waiting for a reply to an SMS i sent b4 going to bed and the dream was : me checking my phone and receiving the reply lol! i swear hahaha..and it was so irrelevant!
i mean..the reply was : " penbar =P "
LOL..wth? XD what's penbar? some sorta code?
i mean..i don't get it in real life and the one i get in my dream is so damn ugh! stupid!

anyways..

i have two dreams in my whole life that I'd call interesting..the first one starts like this :


characters : Nella, Nella's mom, Nella's grandma, Nella's older sister and Nella's younger sister (M)

i was coming back home (it wasn't my real home btw..but in the dream it was) and i came in with my older sister..went up the stairs to the main door and there was my mom and grandmother, standing there as if they're waiting for us..

Nella and her older sister : hey ma ^_^ hey grandma!

mom and grandma: hey girls! ^_^ ..Nella?

Nella: yes?

mom and grandma pointing at a huge pile of huge gift boxes wrapped beautifully : this is for you ^_^

Nella: for me? (surprised) wow...I..I..thanx? (blushing and embarrassed lol)

then her sister frowns and goes inside without saying a word

Nella standing silently for a minute and then: whats wrong with her? :(

mom and grandma: oh honey never mind her ^_^ now are you going to open your gifts?*

Nella: well,..

then comes her younger sister from inside..she sees Nella and jumps on her.. starts hugging and kissing

M: Nella!!!

Nella *shocked* : hey..

M: hey! ^_^ ..oh! i forgot something! be right back

she goes in and comes back with a baby's blanket and then mom and grandma say: hey! lets go to the roof

Nella thinking to herself : the roof? :S

the four of them go to the roof and there her younger sister puts down the blanket and asks Nella to sit.
Nella sits on it and stares at the sky.
note: the roof's wall was pretty short for me to stare at the sky while sitting and the blanket was so beautiful :P

there shines so brightly five huge stars on the horizon, and the one in the middle was 3 times bigger than the other four..all in a perfect horizontal line
note: one of the most amazing sights i've ever seen..once i see the aurora..live! i might change my mind hehe :P

Nella sits there breathless, then her mom and grandma say: those are yours..

Nella: mine? you mean the stars? *shocked*

Nella's mom, grandma and younger sister (M) smiling warmly at her : yes.

and then I'm up..sitting on my bed..staring at my hands..i don't know why but i was staring at my hands..and i was feeling..well, i can't describe the feeling..it was indescribable

*: no ones treats me this nice and ignores my older sister..she gets most of the attention and well,..everything in real life.

thats it folks! ^_^

P.s: too long to start talking about my other interesting dream..stay tuned though..
i might just post it later ;)

and hey! i watched 300 ^_^ at last! lol

things that dont make sense..in a more senseless way

this is not gonna make sense so if you wanna have a headache trying to figure what the hell am i blabbering about then..get an aspirin ready..

ready?

ok..

1. so we all know chocolate take you to a better place..wait..do we? i personally don't understand the passion for chocolate..i crave it..rarely, but it never took me to a better place! well, i did notice that i act like a drunk when i have a lot..i once had 10 galaxy ripple :P boy! they had me eating dinner outside just so that i don't go wild in front of the whole family..yes i did gain weight that night :P

2. i really think this is a man's world..they just have more fun! besides, where i live men make the rules..so why on earth would they make rules that'll be for women's good? lool! seriously

3. i think men's mentality -even though it differs from one to the other- is very interesting! they honestly don't understand us! now if you're asking : do they bother understanding? then i don't really know..
but i assure you, they find us hard to read..just like how we think they're messed in the head for not understanding very clear things..then again, are they really clear? or just because they're clear to us we think they're clear to everyone else?

4. this is gonna contradict with number 3 : men are so predictable! or maybe the ones i know are..maybe god made them predictable so we can have this little understanding we do? I'm not sure, but really..men need to work on their surprising skills..lol

4. i stopped drinking soda..no..it's not coz I'm going healthy, it's just that i stopped for awhile and now i can't drink them..feels like pouring acid in..i can't believe i used to drink that burning ****!

5. we all claim to like honesty and we want the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth..so why do you get upset when it's not a convenient one? and why do we lie when we know the truth is the better way out? is it in our nature to lie? is that why lying is a sin? cause we'll lie eventually?

6. i've put my gift to the test, and up till now it's working fine..now I'm not sure if it really is a gift so I'm gonna run it through some more testing ^_^

7. what's meditating? is it that you sit relax and think? or sit relax and not think? coz the 2nd i understand..but the first..i mean how can you relax if you're going to think! thinking is so damn stressful!

they say 7 is a lucky number..and I'm so unlucky! so I'm just gonna keep them 7..for good luck ^_^

hey! this is weird..i so feel like chocolate! lol..the irony XD

Tuesdays with Morrie

One of the most inspiring and touching books I’ve ever read..

Even though I wasn't that enthusiastic about reading it..
I just grabbed it one day off my sister's bookshelf and started reading..

I highly recommend it to anyone who's into reading..and to the people who don’t read..i just can’t understand you >.<

It opened my eyes to many things I’ve never noticed nor thought about before..
reading it makes you think about life, emotions, death, etc.. from a total different angle

here are some quotes from the book:

• "Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back."
• "You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you’ve find meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward."
• "When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."
• "Death ends a life, not a relationship."
• "The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."
• "Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling."
• "When you're in bed, you're dead"
• "Love wins. Love always wins."
• "As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed as ignorant as you were at twenty-two, you'd always be twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."
• "Love each other or perish."
• "Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone."
• "Don't hang on too long, but don't let go too soon."
• "Without love, we are birds with broken wings."
• "Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?"
• "If the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."
• "If we can remember the feeling of love we once had, we can die without ever going away."

It is the true story of Brandeis University sociology professor, title personage Morrie Schwartz and his relationship with student Mitch Albom. Both the film and the book chronicle the lessons about life that Mitch learns from his professor, who is dying from Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease.


i wanted to post more..but it'll just spoil it

it being a true story makes it even more interesting ^_^

it really is one of life's greatest lessons..

Currently reading : SHANTARAM

by: Gregory David Roberts

Full Metal Alchemist

one word: awesome!

this anime is a must watch! to everyone..even the ones who can't stand anime lol =P
i watched the first few episodes 'cause my sister was into it and i wanted to check it out..it was very interesting but i stopped watching after a few episodes coz something happened in it that broke my heart XD ..i continued watching later on..after i got a bit over it

anyways..i finished it and watched the movie which is amazing as well..and now i feel like i need more full metal :( ..im so sad it's over

attention : this anime might be the best anime ever..other animes won't be as good after watching this =P

well, here is a brief description :

In this world, there exist people with special abilities to manipulate objects and transform those objects into other objects. These people are known as alchemist. However, this manipulation process does not come without cost, as the basic alchemy rules stated that something with equivalent cost is needed to perform the manipulation. The main character is a famous alchemist named Edward Elric, who loses his little brother Alphonse in an accident. Edward manages to contain his brother's soul in a large piece of armor suit. However, merging the soul and body of the dearly departed comes with great cost, so the two brothers must embark on a journey to find a mysterious power amplifier which can reduce the cost to manipulate objects greatly.

not a very clear description..thats why i posted it ^_^ ..it's better when you don't know much b4 watching ;)