From: Nella's friend
To: Nella
Date: 18/5/2007
Time: 8:42 PM
Nellie girl!
How are you? Still dreaming about swimming? Cool water and not a care in the world?
What are you thinking about lately?
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From: Nella
To: Nella's friend
Date: 18/5/2007
Time: 9:03 PM
i'm doing fine thank you..yourself?
i get excited when i receive a message lol..'cause it's mostly you and i somehow look forward to your messages
no I'm not still dreaming about swimming..i've found something better to do..counting down the days till I'm in the water!
well,..lately I'm thinking of..umm, trusting people..
it's not fair! ..some people leave after making it so hard for you to trust again..and when you meet someone new you get all confused and not sure what to do..it wont be fair not to trust them 'cause of someone else's doing! ..it's their chance after all, but then again..they might hurt you the same way the ones before did..
sometimes i wish i was a seer.. foretelling the future..it sure will avoid a lot of pain and disappointment..
..am i making any sense? funny how am always complaining to you..i always manage to find something to complain about xD
hope you and you're family are doing well..Take care
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From: Nella's friend
To: Nella
Date: 18/5/2007
Time: 9:21 PM
Awww, Nellie, you make me blush... I look forward to seeing your name on the screen..."Nella...Nella...Nella..." It always makes me smile...like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. I'm always in a better mood after I see you around...even if I thought I was in a good mood to start with...
And I LOVE to hear you complain! You were talking about trust; that's what it feels like. When you trust me and tell me what's in your heart, it's a bit magical. Like you would feel if you were sitting in a park and a bird suddenly came and landed on your finger! Ohhhh...! Keep still! Don't disturb it! Look at it carefully with wide eyes. Be very careful and maybe it will come back again...or stay awhile...or clean its feathers a bit...or close its eyes and take a nap right there on your finger! And you can feel its little heart beating so fast beatbeatbeatbeatbeat!
I think you have to decide who to trust on a case by case basis. But there are only two choices in a general way for dealing with people:
1. To refuse to get hurt any more and get hard like a rock; or
2. To decide to allow yourself to get hurt and take risks and trust anyway.
I think General Attitude number 2 is the better way. Love always involves pain, but without trust there is no love. And keeping yourself closed off ends up hurting you worse than anything else in the world.
But...you will get beat up and abused. People suck. But at the same time: people are wonderful!
I think the trick--to the extent there is a trick--is to learn slowly to replace instinctual trust with a decision to trust. You learn to keep your eyes open and to love and trust while expecting pain and knowing that you will be let down.
When you are getting ready to trust, ask yourself: Am I ready to risk getting hurt? And if you are: then trust--and hope for the best. And sometimes, you will get a happy surprise instead of any unhappy one. Because life is sad and miserable and people are more horrible than you think. But also: life is lovely and beautiful and people can surprise you with how much more beautiful they can be than you expect!
They can be like sun on the branches or a bird landing on your finger when you least expect it. And then you remember that life is worth living.
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From: Nella
To: Nella's friend
Date: 18/5/2007
Time: 9:48 PM
oh my..seriously? every message from you is like a lesson! I'm so glad you're my friend ^_^
6 comments:
Do you find a new special someone every month? Damn you are quick. :D
Anyway... You should take a break and concentrate on your exams. That's what really matters at the moment. After exams comes summer break. Summer is when love flourish. I am sure you'll find happiness then and you'll be committed to it.
Wish you a summer full of love and happiness. 'Till then good luck in your exams.
Just you touched the nerve.It's unbearable to trust people and then they easily betray you =(.
After all, life won't go if you keep long walls and said I can't trust.Give yourself a chance and for them too.We deserve them and they do too and life also =)
You know, sometime I come up and say I won't trust anymore but then I change my mind.
How's your study and examz going with you ?
I finished 3 examz and the last one was tough =(
EarThQuaKe yeah..someone new every month..
anyways..thanx..same goes to you :)
Sweetness yeah..thats what i was thinking as well ^_^
i didn't start yet :(
on the 27th inshallah..
i can't wait till I'm home!! ^_^
all the best hon..inshallah it'll all be good ;)
Woooooohoooooooo! nella lost her mind!! Nella's gone crazy!!!
Glad to see that I made a difference in ur life,,, :)
*hugs*
Oblivious >_> seriously..whats wrong with me?
RD you kinda did make a difference..indirectly..knowing that someone out there can't be depressed made me feel stupid for being depressed..it's never worth it! ^_^
i mean..shit happens now and I'm not the least concerned.
but i gotta admit I'm getting sick of being jolly all the time..
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