i'm really not bothered coming up with a title...

So I’m sitting online with nothing to do..I decided to look around blogs..it's weird reading all these personal stuff about people you never or hardly know..someone who's grieving over a dead relative, some family wedding problems, love poems, Oman won a match videos, etc..

But the personal stuff remains the best to read! Well, that's just me

for example: I just saw someone I know but never saw before! And I gotta say it's like a 1-80 difference from the picture I had in mind! Hot stuff! :p
i can relate to the way they think and the way they look now..being an expert in imagining helps alot! hehe..

I’m almost 20 ..two weeks to go and as I view the past 19 years it feels as if I lived them all in denial..how whenever reality hit me (and most of the time it hits me with some bad stuff) I just isolate myself and daydream of a better one and then just move on with the better reality in mind..

To be honest? Compared to others my life is heaven! But no one is living happily..thats what suck about life! Some are worried about when their next meal will be, while some worry about turning 20 or having no talents! As big the difference is as the same effect it has! We still worry and get stressed!

So I told you about me having no talents even though the most disagrees I still think I have none..the word talented is a bit different in my dictionary I guess..
it doesn't mean making the best pasta..it means being an Italian chef! It doesn't mean being good in basketball! It means being Michael Jordan in it!

It hurts when I see people good in a lot of things..and I mean GOOD as in my dictionary's definition of TALENTED! While I’m just an average in everything I do..

Can’t I be a guy for a day? Just to see how men think and feel?
Can’t I be Angelina Jolie for a day? I bet her life is exciting!
Can’t I meet a fairy? God knows I’m soo dying to...

I have so many dreams to fulfill..and I’m already 20! XD

laters

Randomness - Craziness - Childishly speaking

I’m gonna turn 20 soon and I hate it! People usually look forward for their birthday..Well, the people I know do and I’m not really looking forward for it like the other passed ones..Except for the presents! Yeah! That’s something I can never stop looking forward to, hehe :p

It’s not because of the wrinkles or anything.im just not ready to be 20 yet! I’m not mature enough to be twenty! I’m so kiddy. And whenever someone is pissed at me they start calling me, Miss Irresponible..Seriously..Oh well, I guess the world has more important things to worry about then me turning 20! I mean even my complaining sound so immature! Ugh! It’s not like something I can help so I better get over it..

So many things to get over..

Ever been depressed to the point that you wanted to paint your room black? I have!


I got my grades the other day. Not the ones I was looking for. I did so well in my exams..and finals were alright as well. I really don't care to be honest..I wasn't studying seriously..It went well after all I guess..

Is it wrong to have friends you love and trust even though you've never met? It’s fine with me but others seem to be making it a big deal! What is a friend anyways? Isn’t he/she the one who listens? Help you when you’re in need? Cheer you up? Make your day? Feel like you can be yourself with?

Well, that what makes a friend to me..

Oh by the way, I never make sense most of the times so feel free to try and get some sense outta that…

laters

No talent No cry?

Well, I’ve been asked this question a few times..I always end up with an embarrassment smile..you could obviously tell the answer was NO..i guess it was written on my forehead.. but, the first time I was asked I was thinking really hard and came up with absolutely nothing..i said : no I don't think I have a talent..of course it kept me awake for a couple of nights tossing and turning and all that drama..
thinking how can someone be so damn useless hopeless and the "less" wouldn't stop up until i reached "pathetic" that’s when I shed a few tears..and fell asleep..

to the ones who know me you'd probably say: "NAH! you're not useless, hopeless,.......................pathetic!"
and to the ones who don't then i bet you are rolling your eyes with the thought "Geez, such a drama queen!"

well, how would you feel if you realized you're a good for nothing human being? won't you be acting drama queenish? won't you feel really hopeless, helpless, useless.......pathetic?

I’m a good for nothing human being and I do believe it.. well, let’s not exaggerate I think that to some extent XD

I have no talents..I’m anti-social, I’m not so good in almost everything. How can someone alive be so hopeless, helpless, useless.......pathetic you say?
Well, I don't really know if the reason is me living in my own invented Neverland with me being good in everything..or me being truly hopeless, helpless, useless.......pathetic made me live in my own invented Neverland!
Ugh again I’m confused!
Confusion = dead end..

Oh well, I guess I do feel a bit better sharing this with you..

Laters

Fake

I hate this word! I hear it a lot and most of the time it's misused!

is it fake to smile when you meet a family member when you see them almost everyday and your not that enthusiastic about it?
is it fake to be extra nice to people in general?
is it fake to want love and peace?

Well, if fake = love then count me in..
I’m a FAKE and I’m proud to be!
I love my family and to tell the truth I’m obsessed with them..I'd smile every time I meet them..i'd hug them and kiss them and smile whenever my eyes meet any of them..even if I’m not the "enthusiastic" about it..
Would you like an icy face to welcome you? Would you feel the warmth of their love?

Even if they're not that happy to meet me I’d still "fake" a smile and stick it on my face..

Ok this got me a bit upset.. XD

If you read this I hope you're "faking" a smile now..

laters

Rain Music

Rain...

To some people Rain is an omen...it resembles sickness, darkness and sometimes death..to others it's a sign of prosperity..When the earth quenches it's thirst and bloom..


Where I live. Raining is a very special event..I remember being 7 and as childish as i'm always am..Whenever the sky had a couple of dark clouds I would start jumping by the window and praying it'll rain. Please god..Please let it rain...
Most of the time the wind would blow the two little clouds away so it'll rain elsewhere..like the Indian Ocean needs more water.


But when it rains all the kids would go crazy.I remember us screaming..and hastily running outside with our mouths open so wide! inviting the pure drops from heaven to fall in.the luckiest would be the one who got to swallow the largest amount of it...
sometimes it rains so hard that our parents won't let us go out...even sneaking was hard...though sometimes one of us manages to get out and tries to get as wet as she can before someone comes and take her back in...we'd be staring out the window with our eyes full of tears..

Silently listening to the sacred rain music..

My Confession...Josh Groban

I have been blind, unwilling
to seeThe true love you're giving.
I have ignored every blessing.
I'm on my knees confessin
That I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
I have been wrong about you.
Thought I was strong without you.
For so long
nothing could move me.
For so long
nothing could change me
Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am captured by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
[Bridge:]
You are the air that I breathe.
You're the ground beneath my feet.
When did I stop believing?
Cause I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
can't hide
Now hear my confession.
Hear my confession

i might just post all of his lyrics :p ..seriously im in love with his voice and songs!

Yellow!

mic check..ello! 1, 2, 3 ..can you hear me?

i've got a blog!

get ready for my crazy rollercoster ride! :p

naaaah..boredom is my middle name XD ..and i can prove it