A True Story - Part 1

1983 - 3rd of April

It's 9 pm, she's just got back from her last day as a university student, throwing herself on the bed and exhaling in relief. It was early April, the weather is perfect in Jordan around this time of the year. just a couple of more days and she'd be back home. the thought of becoming a married woman in just a few months was overwhelming. she stood up with a smile on her face, and walked to the wardrobe, looking for something more comfortable to change into. as she was extending her arm to grab a blue cotton dress, her eyes fell on a little note on the desk. must be from her flatmate Fatma.
the note read: Layla, Ahmed called.
her heart skipped a beat as she read his name..it's been over 5 months since she last heard from him.

"why now?" she thought.. so absorbed in her thoughts, she didn't realize Fatma had made her way through the room and was now standing beside her: Layla? ... Layla?

"Yes?!"
"i was knocking the door, are you ok?"
"oh yes, i'm fine.." she replied smiling. "i'm just anxious about the wedding."
"is that so? Fatma's tone was filled with doubt. "i was almost sure you looked like you were panicking.." the word Panic was one of Fatma's favorite words Layla thought. she's been saying it ever since they first learned it in school.
Fatma went on. "anyway, got the note?"
oh yes..the note, when did he call?
"sometime in the afternoon. he asked if he could speak to you, i told him you're in class."
pausing for a few seconds.. "you don't have to call him back you know.."
"yes..I..I know."
"you're an engaged woman, what is he thinking? when it's.."
"it's alright Fatma.. really. I'll go take a shower now."

1978 - Flashback

"Layla! Layla!" her mother was yelling at the front door.

"yes mama?" shouted Layla as she was running towards the car.
don't forget! you're having lunch at grandma's after school. she came back yesterday."
"inshallah!" she was already waiting impatiently for Wednesday.. Her Paternal Grandparents were her favorite people in the world. she missed them last week, but they had to visit a cousin in the interior.

she got into the car as she was enthusiastically greeting the driver back.
"if you keep coming late everyday, you're going to be late for school, and Ahmed will be late too, madam"
"i know. sorry Azeez.."

Ahmed moved to their neighborhood last weekend, and been riding their car to school with her for the past week. he's a relative she's known all her life, played with him in her old neighborhood back when they were kids.

they're both in their last year of school, even though he's two years older than she is, but she's been a bookworm all her life, she's started school at the age of 9 when they finally opened the first school for girls in Muscat.
she then started taking summer courses to skip a few years and graduate sooner..

Layla has never felt anything for a guy before, they just never seemed interesting enough to distract her from her studies..However, Ahmed was different.
she closed her eyes smiling, as she recalled the first time she saw him last weekend. when he came by asking for her father. she almost felt her feet melt into her shoes, she never knew he was that handsome.

the car stopped in front of his house. he opened the door to the front seat, greeted them, slammed the door shut, and said: "how are you this morning, Layla?"

her heart was beating so loud, she wasn't sure she heard him right, did he just ask how am i doing? "...Alhamdillah. how are you?"
"i'm doing fantastic, thank you."

looking down at her sweating palms.. she thought " i knew today was going to be a special day..the air smelled different the moment i woke up!"
as she rose her head up, she saw Azeez looking at her in the rear-view mirror with a smirk on his face.
he knew..

O' Perfect Template, Where Art Thou?

i need to be at uni in about...now. haha
i have no idea what am i doing here checking/updating my blog..

remember when i said i'm a very clingy person who's got trouble letting things go? ( our house has been renovated and refurnished twice now, and i still want it the way it was when i was 5 xD)
well..i was looking at my blogroll and let me tell you, 3/4 of them folks have either died, quit blogging or deleted their blog all together! but somehow i can't bring myself to delete the links..it's like i'm hoping someday i'll click on one of them, and there will it be, to my delight, a fresh entry on their supposedly dead blogs! you people suck!

can't blame them though, personally, the more interesting and blog worthy my life gets, the more boring blogging becomes lol, i barely blog once a month. (this month is an exception, i have finals coming up and i have nothing better to waste my time in but update.)

oh yes, almost forgot the reason why i'm actually updating lol..
*clears throat*

"my dearest regular Nella's blog readers,

my apologies if any of you are getting annoyed with the recently frequent template changes. i'm just not settled yet, i don't know what i want..so until i find a template i really like, i'm going to annoy you with this for a little longer i'm afraid..so bear with me..or something lol"

gotta run now, laters!

p.s: things are going according to plan, now all i need is a little bit of luck. even though i've been strangely lucky this week..too lucky in fact. hmm..

--------------------------------------------------

to-do list:

- Study dammit!

- Pray on time.

- Clean the room and start packing. i hate packing, i hate it!!!! ****ing agonizing!

- Do last week's laundry!

yes..the past week has been a lucky one, but that doesn't mean i don't get to procrastinate! that's my all time best thing to do :D i'd procrastinate anytime of the day! oh wait..i already do that.. hehe

Undone

"I keep comin' back everytime I leave"

1- i hate this state i'm in right now..the 'reality hasn't hit yet' state. i wish if i could realize what just happened in order for me to react the way i will wish i did in about a week or whenever reality is gonna hit me..HIT ME DAMN IT! HIT MEEE!

2- i've been a complete scatterbrain today, and i'm afraid this is gonna last for quite sometime until i breakdown and then start to recollect myself..
BAD TIMING NELLA!! you've got a presentation next week and finals coming up in a couple of weeks.

3- i think i'm gonna fail in one of the subjects i'm taking, it's just too hard! xD and that damn prof has this weird way of coming up with exams. dentistry students are always shaking before entering the exam hall , and crying after leaving it. i on the other hand am pretty much desensitized when it comes to studies, the worse thing that'll happen is that i won't smile in relief once the exam is over. i really hope my kids don't turn out this way. 'Oh god, please let my future husband be a hot nerd.' =P

4- when i kill insects i imagine this little blue light leaving their bodies and heading up to heaven..weird i know, but thats what i imagine every time i kill something. oh, and i never kill ants. 'cause for some reason i start feeling guilty the minute i do. those hard working little things aren't up for breaks.
i've always admired ants, ever since i was a kid.

5- i miss swimming, yup..it's that time of the year again lol, i remember back when we were in grade school, and how we'd walk around el 7osh (backyard) barefoot and get as hot as possible and then run and jump into the pool. it feels GOOD! you should try it sometime.

6- i've been craving qabooli (an omani rice dish, prepared with either meat: laham or chicken: djaaj) laham for the past week. and to top it, i've talked to my grandma today (happens to be the chef who makes the best qabooli i've ever had in my entire life)
haha, everytime we're at my aunt's place (where she lives) for lunch it's either qabooli laham or dajaaj.

my cousins always laugh about it: grandma! they'll get sick of this qabooli if they're gonna have it everytime they're here! two more times and it'll become a tradition.
- Grandma: they like it! you don't have to eat!

ugh, i miss her so much! i miss everyone and everything as a matter of fact, even the ones i don't usually miss, i miss them this time. guess it's coz i'm all alone up here for the first time.
ugh man, i'm crying..


goodnight

Draft Vol.4 (10/8/2007)

now this draft is missing a LOT of stuff! since back then, i had so much going on, the thought of blogging about it was just tiring lol, but since it's a draft it'll remain unedited. i'll leave it the way it was saved. =)

note: last draft..yay! :p

"things are slowing down.."

it's been awhile since i've posted a serious update, i was thinking of posting something that needed lots of editing, then i changed my mind. it's better to post something fresh and recent.

nothing much has happened recently, my cousins left for their summer vacation, my other cousins returned from their vacation, and we didn't leave to return. sitting here in Oman and enjoying the not so hot weather, i think this summer is cooler that the other past summers, don't you think?

i noticed that i talk about my dreams quite often, and that's because they're more interesting than the real thing xD

apart from the deaths in the family everything is quite normal..swimming, staying up late..the usual summer vacation.

current wishlist

ladies and gentlemen i present to you my very first materialistic post :P

this the Puma Blackberry wine handbag that i've been dreaming of but couldn't buy 'cause i was broke at the time, remember? lol
but as usual, once i had the money, it was already sold out, and they didn't have any left at the store. i'm jinxed i tell ya..jinxed! =(



------------------------------------------------------------------------------


i love Skullcandy.. beautiful. they were outta stock at virgin megastores. they only had a black/gold one which was very unappealing to me lol




------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm not a heels person, since i'm a 5'6 ..but this, i really want.





------------------------------------------------------------------------------


this little baby Coral snake is beyond adorable! i know it's venom is almost fatal, and it's as poisonous as of an adult coral snake. but i was dying for an adult coral snake, now that i've seen this..i want it even more! =(





------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and lastly, i have 5 almost empty bottles of perfume, i'm thinking of repurchasing a couple of them and adding this to the collection


that's pretty much it for the time being. nothing interesting i know, but since i have no idea what is it i want right now, i thought i'd post the things i know i want.

sucksville, miserable town..catching my drift?

do you know what's sad? it's when you realize that you basically blog because 99% of the time your life is just so sad!
either that, or you just love to bitch about the not so bad 1% left. which i tend to do 100% of the time..

i'm feeing so miserable to the point that i'm feeling sorry for myself! i mean if i saw myself curled up in my bed all day, getting off of it just to answer nature's call, then i'm gonna be feeling really sorry for myself. which IS the case! and i also have a feeling i'm gonna regret posting this later on lol..

i mean, god! it's 8 in the morning! and i cannot go to sleep, and i'm really tired- and the screen is blurry and all but still! i just can't stop those thoughts from invading my head. i'm even thinking of erogenous zones for god's sake! and i also feel really sick and probably hung over (if possible) from all the fizzy drinks and ice cream i had.
ok here's a tip, if you're feeling really crappy? like REALLY crappy? do NOT drink 2 cans of Pepsi, 3 cans of mountain dew, and 3 full bowls of ice cream. DO NOT! especially when you rarely drink fizz and you're not too much of a sweet tooth. veeeeeeeeery bad idea..

did you ever want someone so bad! like sooo sooo bad! and like want them right now? this second?
well, that's how i'm feeling right now ...about juicy cheesy pizza! ugh i'd kill for a slice right now.

so..so far i'm feeling: depressed, hung over, sick, sorry for myself, dying for a slice of pizza,

and well.. having absolutely no human contact? is not making it any better! .. and definitely driving me insane. i'm on the verge of insanity here! and the fact that i'm not initiating any human contact either, is making me feel sucky! and well...suckier!

ugh..i mean, i do have a family that happens to care a lot about me, but i just can't make them worry more than they already are!
they are already worried about me stuck all alone in here. even though i'm 21 now, i'm still the very irresponsible daughter/sister to them, and i certainly can not disagree on that right now.. i'm just not cut out for this! i mean, what kinda responsible person would skip their classes and decide to spend the day in bed instead, drinking fizz, and having lots of ice cream on an empty stomach? well, not any responsible daughter/sister i know!

sigh..sometimes i wish if blogging about things you hate, things that are making you feel miserable, make them go away..
too bad blogger is not a fairy..or a witch.. or any other person who can make all of this go away for that matter.

and why do i have the song 'smelly cat' playing non-stop in my head?

A Thoughtless Hermit

that's what i've become lately.

i really think something is seriously wrong with me..it's like i'm not me!
i usually have a million thoughts a minute..(ok i'm exaggerating) but really, being thoughtless is just not Nellish!

i'm starting to have doubts about the drug i'm currently taking..might be the reason behind the thoughtlessness.

oh, and this is not an update lol, i'm just thinking out loud.

drafts Vol.3 (9/9/2007)

now this does not make any sense whatsoever lol, the most of it at least..
entry 3 can be a little bit..well, understandable! xD i think..
and if there are any regular readers in the house, i guess you've figured out by now how most of the entries on this blog are rather senseless. sometimes i wonder what am i on about.. so my dear readers, if you decided to go on reading, i'm afraid you'll have to guess what the hell was i thinking when i wrote these..(a few months back)
-------------------------------------------------------

oh and I almost forgot: i very much appreciate each and every comment you leave for me..i'm always thrilled when i see comments waiting to be moderated. puts a big smile on my face. actually, i'm just glad you bother visiting my blog..let alone read and drop a comment! seriously, thank you. :)

--------------------------


"Dear Diary? "

9.9.2007
1:33 AM
Dairy,

i'm still in shock of how racist my father is, i've never
thought he'd ever react like this, not to someone i admire so much.

makes me feel like screaming an apology: i'm sorry! at the top of my lungs, hoping he'll hear it.

sigh..so this makes it what? -40?
oh, and it's been proven Diary, i'm paranoid -_-
..it's tiring when life becomes a mad vortex, but i enjoy it..the pain,
the headache and the dizziness. i really do..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

17.8.2007
Dear diary,

I had a weird dream last night; it's so weird it's funny. I might take it as a sign and do what I did in the dream, but I'm not sure I'm strong enough. It'll be devastating if it didn't happen like the dream. this took me a long while to get over, the 2nd time would be too painful to bear. :(

I hate this time of the year..sigh..My agony will go on for another 2 weeks, if not more -_-

It sucks when it's over..oh well, I just hope I dream of eight-legged shadows again tonight!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10.8.2007
Dear Diary,

Nizwa is breathtaking! ^_^
the mountains, the clouds, the people, and their Pizza-hut branch xD everything was so beautiful and so delicious! even though it's summer..the weather was exceptionally nice, it even rained a tiny bit.
i gotta say though, my favorites were the mountains. they were no ordinary mountains.

one looked like a Sphinx, some looked like whales and there is one that looked like a witch with a crooked nose, amazing. i've always thought mountains are amazing, and i often feel homesick when i see chains of mountains..i love you Oman.

Just a Thought..

when the balloon glided out my hand, where did it go?

Drafts Vol.2 (22.7.2007)

"Oh Father... "

today, I'm sleeping over at my grandpa's ..
and I'm very excited 'bout swimming first thing in the morning ^_^

tonight, when i came down for dinner, my grandpa called me saying : hey um ****** lol, how are you? he placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair, like a little girl..
i blushed since he never really did that to me before, and I'm 20 now.
it was mostly ear twisting when i was young xD

even though i was a quite girl, but like any other kid, i still did my share of stupid irresponsible things, and therefore got my share of ear twisting, lol.

but the thing is, when i thought about what he did, i started thinking of my father, and i realized..i never hug my dad..
like the other day we were out with mom, and when we came back, dad opened the door and one of my sisters came inside the house and just hugged him.
i felt so weird, and thought: when's the last time 'I' hugged him? how old was I? 10? ..or was I 9?

Drafts Vol. 1 (17/6/2007)

well, i was looking through my drafts in here. some of them were supposed to be published, i have no idea how did they manage to stay as drafts lol, i was even looking for this particular post through my blog, but i couldn't find it. i thought i deleted it by mistake or something, turns out i didn't.
anyhow..some of the drafts are interesting, so i decided to publish them.

"an Interesting Turn of Events"

the weather doesn't matter..
but it's just too damn hot!!

remember how i used to say, things in my life usually fall into place on their own and they sort themselves out just like that? well..they do!
apart from what my horoscope says..

well, if you're interested, my horoscope says that my love life is finally going well.., and if it meant me swearing off guys then it's right :p

back to things falling into place on their own..

#1: i had an amazing daughter mother day..there was no plan..i just saw her and hugged her and told her how much i miss her and all..and it happened on it's own! automatically.
of course i usually hug my mom but when it comes to telling her how i feel i get tongue tied and end up saying nothing.

later we had lunch together, shopped, talked, laughed and watched Pirates of the Caribbean 3 together! ^_^
#2: yes! i watched it! and as long as it was..i just didn't want it to end, and it's Orlando Bloom's fault as much as it's Johnny's!

bad boys are hot..but good ones are the ones to fall for *sigh*..

so 2 out of the 6 things i wanted to happen happened! now #3 is kinda silly lol..i wanted to have pizza from Pizza hut in Sohar..their pizza is just worth dying for! yum!! and we did ^_^ - we didn't die of course lol..we had the pizza xD - i thought we'll carry out and have it in the car on our way back..but then everyone felt like eating in, and we spent 2 hrs eating and having some good family quality time, knowing we won't be having any once we arrive, since my favorite aunt and her kids are staying with us, 'cause their house is out of electricity and water..thanx to Gonu -_-

it's even better they're here! cause things are triple fun when they're around..too Hectic for mom though hehe..

#4: now i was really worried about the cat..since I'm not only allergic to cats, but they just scare me lol

once we arrived i saw her..she looks exactly like Puss in Shrek..i don't think cats are cute, but this one stole my heart..it's strange and i still can't comprehend it..
anyways..she stole my heart from a distance lol..since i just scream if they get too close to me

this cat is just like a kid..she plays and plays until she's drained and then sleeps..soo kawaii!! (cute!!) and her playing mood is mostly hunting like a lioness lol, and she bites all the time!
she usually looks for anything that moves..and she also likes staring at the hamster (his name is grandpa xD) ..when we get grandpa out of his cage to wander around the place..she just looks at him and then moves around, but once we place him back in his cage, she gets captivated and stares at him for a very long while..lol weird

but whats even more weird is that after 2 hrs or so from us arriving..Kush was lying in the living room, acting lazy, with my family sitting there and watching Tv..i don't know how or why..but i just came down from upstairs..picked her up, hugged her and said: Kush! kawaii!! and then shook her gently..

you should've seen my family's jaws drop lol..if i was sitting with them and saw me holding that cat, my jaw would've dropped as well lol, seriously..

not to make it a very long and detailed entry..she adores me the most! I'm the only one who calls her and not get ignored! well, apart from mom and thats 'cause mom is the one who feeds her :p

#5: i swam! for 3 whole hrs..and it was amazing! i still need to swim and I'm going to today inshallah ^_^

it's been decided! I'll be swimming 4-5 times a week! yaaay!

#6: it was amazing riding with my lil aunt in her new hot Lexus ;)
and we went out 3 times in a 2 hours time! lol...was really nice, we even ran away from a suspicious looking bagger xD

that's all for now i guess..

oh! and regarding that exam i said I'll screw up..i screwed up alright! and i've got my grade to prove it..a shining D lol!

too long i know..bear with me..and if you can't, well..you can't!

I've drove myself insane..

"You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone"

 i never noticed this song has kissing sounds in the background before..wow..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

i've never felt this way before, not on the same day at least. feeling on top of the world and then hitting rock bottom all on the same day.
life is a rollercoaster afterall..


i need to vent a little.

i just feel like blogging..

"how can I keep loving you endlessly?"

mood: nostalgic-uncomfortable-almost depressed.
listening to: Dorantes - Orobroy.


doesn't it suck when you have nothing interesting going on in your life? seriously! i went shopping on Friday, and i wasted all the little money i had left. i just wanted to do something refreshing, and shopping to my surprise was the thing!
i'm gonna go all girly on you now lol, but there was this 'puma' handbag that totally killed me! no kidding! but i was too broke to get it. i still think of it every night before going to bed.. =(

yes, i know money doesn't buy you happiness, but when i think of the engagement ring i want, i start thinking that maybe the one who came up with that saying just didn't know where to shop? xD

mom thinks the UAE is just as expensive as Oman or something..
the prices are on fire lately, we can't even afford eggs! right lol..but no really, things are much more expensive than last month! we used to get 3 eggs for just 1 dirham, now it's an egg per dirham!

anyway, on a more serious note: i hate finals, and being me makes them all even worse! 'cause i keep thinking of how i should study and all. then basically, do nothing! =)
ugh! killah min (it's all because of) the first exam! i did so damn good.
if i sucked i would've probably been a little more freakin motivated!

being in the mood i'm in at the moment, makes me miss my mom's smell..

Eid..

well, first of all..Eid mubarak everyone! ^_^
kinda late..
anyhow, i know you're all dying to know how i spent my Eid (right... lol)
weeeell! i spent it in a hotel room with my family.
it was a life changing experience, or so i want to believe.

it all started right before fajr prayer on the day of Eid..

my parents alarm woke me up. and being the lazy bum i am, i took a little while before i managed to convince myself to get off the bed.
I got out of the room and saw mom praying in the living room. prayed..and i was feeling so fresh and decided to take a look out the window.
a really cool breeze brushed my face and along with it, in came a familiar sound. something I'd be listening to about that same time at home. the only difference is that instead of listening and watching it on T.v, this was live and absolutely amazing! it's like I'm in Mecca. (here) this is exactly what i was hearing, but it was more of a chorus.

people were coming from all around the hotel and heading for the Masjid close by, by that time my sisters were waking up one at a time. we couldn't see the Masjid from our room. but it was quite fascinating how people never stopped coming. like they're all tied together with an endless rope. more people pulling on even more people.

it's weird how the sight was so new yet familiar, so weird yet gave me a very warm feeling. honestly? I'd rather see this every Eid than have the little Eid rituals.

so anyway,
dad was still getting ready for Eid prayer. mom called him to come look out the window. by that time people were already standing in rows, ready for prayer on the street! apparently there wasn't enough space for people in the Masjid nor the area around it. the roundabout nearby was completely covered with people.

he stood there looking outside for a couple of seconds. apparently just as amazed as we all were. then almost like he shook his head, he hurried out. we looked at each other giggling, turned back and continued to watch.

a bull started running with the crowd, which was really funny..kinda like Spain 'cept it was just one bull. i guess he broke loose from a house nearby. (hope they caught him before he hurt anyone or well, wandered off too far. I'm assuming they wanted to slaughter him for Eid, it'll be such a waste if they couldn't. considering how livestock prices shot up this Eid.)

dad decided not to go by car, since the road was closing with the many people standing outside. and the fact that the Masjid was just around the corner. and as he was walking to the Masjid, he turned back and waved at us. then disappeared from sight.

by the time they started praying, the rows formed were all the way from the Masjid (which wasn't in our sight) to the front entrance of the hotel we were staying in.
i haven't been to Umrah nor Hajj so this sight was absolutely breathtaking! mom promised we'd go next summer inshallah. (not the coming summer! NEXT summer..as in Summer 2009) hmm..i might be a teacher by then *day dreams*

this was the most spiritual Eid I've had in my life. made me think of how shallow Eid was to me until that moment.

phew.. this is a very long post! and even though I've just mentioned the first few hours of the first day of a 3 days unforgettable holiday, and i haven't even got to the funny and exciting little details of this Eid holiday! xD
but i think i better stop.

.....well, ok! I'm gonna point out that i went to 'Umm al-Quwain' and 'Ras al-khaimah' for the first time in my life.
the parts I've been to were so much like Oman. i loved them! ^_^
oh! and i saw some parachuters land, and some very beautiful scenery mashallah.
if only i had a cam. i'd share some of the stunning beach views with you.

the clouds were so close to the ground that day. not to mention the chilliness..but i like the cold. ^-^

there were also some thin wide patches of water scattered close to the beach..the reflection of the clouds on that water was just divine! so amazing..

oh well..

laters!

days of mixed emotions..

"Touched my nose with the tip of his Index, a grin on his face as he said: hey cherry.."

^ one of the many dreams i've been having every night for the past 3 days..i end up sleeping for almost 12 hours! i just like the dreams and the feeling they bring. i just wanna keep on dreaming.

it doesn’t mean my reality sucks, no! Everything is just fine. =D
Dreams aren't my escape lately..thank god!

i'm not celebrating Eid home for the first time in my life..and i have mixed emotions about that, i miss home, and i'm sure i'm gonna miss all the little Eid rituals..but i'm also relieved; knowing that i won't have to go through the torment of all that social stuff and the shopping!

i mean if Eid was celebrated among family only, i'd be the happiest girl in the world! but it isn't. relatives and people i've never seen before come, and i never get enough sleep the night before. i basically have no sleep at all! Sometimes it's the excitement, sometime it's insomnia. but at the end: no sleep!
so around 1 pm i'll be too exhausted to even have lunch (i have it anyway lol)

then i wake up (with not enough sleep) to go out for dinner ( incase there was a reservation) or just a crazy wild cruise and a drive thru with my cousins.
last Eid we watched half of the movie 'Norbit' in the car in that McDonald's drive thru! unbelievable! which reminds me..i never finished that movie..hmm..

oh! and you can't even imagine how broke i am!
i lost all my savings when my handbag got stolen..i really hate myself for carrying all my savings with me in that damn bag! but i thought it's safer when i have them with me. Ah man..
i literally have 50 fils in my wallet. thank god my family is coming tomorrow..i can't afford another meal xD

:: my first final is on the 27th. and i think i'll be studying. unlike last year. i'm actually studying this time. yay for me! lol
and all my profs know me, i usually try to keep a low profile. but this semester i just felt like standing out. it was good profs-wise. but then i got bombarded with requests from girls in my classes, i'm starting to regret it.
"oh Nella, i was wondering if you could help me out with my project."
 pfft!
i did manage to escape a few, but i still had to help in a couple. (out of excuses lol) 
oh well

:: my sister has graduated 4 days ago. and i have mixed emotions about that..i'm kinda restless actually..she's my life companion.
i do everything with her, she knows me better than i know myself. i still have to spend a year without her in this dumpster.
but at the same time, i wanna see how will i handle life in here with absolutely no backs to lean on. kinda exciting.

wow, it's been a long time since i last updated...

Dango, dango, dango, dango, a big dango family

Dango! Dango! Dango!

it's amazing the effect music has on me. its like every step i take has a different tune to it, as if i'm dancing through the ups and downs of my life.

i think it'll be cool if we had music playing in the background of our lives. like if something was funny you'll hear laughter. and when you're happy you get happy music, etc..

no it's not annoying! you get used to it. humans adapt easily to the environment around them!

there isn't much to say really.. I've had a terrible flu for the past two weeks and i keep relapsing! looks like it's not planning to leave me alone anytime soon. oh, and did i mention i had my first exams during it? i did quite good though =P 'cept for the one i missed! xD

anyway,
this last week has been a good one. I've been feeling quite content. there was a couple of times when i felt like my feet aren't on the ground anymore, but it was just for a split of a second..
and i'm taking it as a sign.

mood: magical.
listening: Dango Daikazoku

Falling stars and Crazy thoughts.

I've been seeing lots of falling stars lately..and it looks like I'm not the only one! 'cause TripleTee mentioned the same thing on her blog: "people never bother to look up to see that they actually appear every now and then" falling stars that is, in case you're slow (like me) :P

you should've seen me last Thursday, i was lying on the backyard's ground, with my hands behind my head..staring at the vast pretty space for hours on end. we stayed for a long time at my grandpa's this Thursday. we left around 3 AM! a new record! :P
it was nice..the weather was amazing. and we could clearly see the laser coming from Qurum's Park. it was gently brushing the stars scattered up above. ^_^

the one I've seen this time, fell so vertically. like a drop of water, hanging desperately on the edge of the water faucet, trying not to give up to this hardheaded gravity.
it failed, and fell...

so fast..so straight..so vertical.. and somewhere between my uncle's wall and his banana-like tree.. it vanished. like how fire vanishes when it hits the water. ever saw fire dying into the water? pretty amusing!

anyway, letting you into my hectic days and crazy thoughts that i've been having lately:

:: my cell phone has been dead for almost 8 days now. i have people to congratulate for Eid, but somehow i can't seem to make myself charge the damn thing. maybe I'm too lazy, but it seems like i don't want to..

it's not like i don't miss anyone, or i don't want to talk to them..it's just that..I'll be socializing my very unsocialized ass on Eid, and I'll be suffocating if i had more people to interact with..sigh, or maybe this is just a lame excuse..
I'm not sure really.

:: I'm back to my reading obsession. *happy*

:: I've developed an obsession with motorbikes. it's like i want to ride one ( a black KTM Duke) so bad..it hurts! xD

:: I've decided not to get married until the age of 25. for superficial, materialistic yet ingeniousnesstic << (made this one up) reasons lol..don't ask!

:: i came to understand that i have a very confused allergy.

:: I've stopped using my gift for awhile now, i actually thought i lost it until recently. it just popped in my head; i made that decision myself! the poor gift had nothing to do with it! (stop blaming others for your mistakes dammit!)

:: to whomever is reading this right now: seriously, com'on, lets be honest..are you even getting 20% of what I'm saying?

:: metal (the genre) sends a rush all over my body..i love it! and since no one around me is into it. it feels so special and dear to me. like it's only mine. ( i know it isn't but well...)

:: the word "levitate" has been on my mind for days now..it came to me all of a sudden, and i can't seem to be able to shake it off somehow, i can't stop thinking about it..it's between every two thoughts in my head, thats a lot! if you took into consideration the million thoughts that cross my mind on a daily basis.

:: i was never a fan of the British accent. but lately? whenever i think of sexy..i think of it. hot! xD

:: i wrote a poem...lol, Nella wrote a poem haha. and i had good reviews as well. lol the irony. i don't even get the whole poetry business!!

:: there is a 65% chance that I'll be etching a tattoo somewhere around my body whenever my parents aren't looking.

:: for a first day of Eid, this one passed rather smoothly, not so bad actually. uh! thank you god. ^_^

I'm starving..bye now!

Colbie Caillat - CoCo

You thought we'd be fine

all these years gone by
now your askin me to listen
well then tell me bout everything
no lies we're loosin time

Cause this is a battle
and its your final last call
it was a trial, you made a mistake, we know (cant you see you hurt me soo)
but why arent you sorry, why arent you sorry, why?
this can be better, you used to be happy, try!

this is my favorite album of the year. ^_^ absolutely amazing!
i love each and every song on it.

even though i keep playing certain songs, i'm not sure if they're my favorite, i can't tell which is my favorite. hmm..

it's pure awesomeness! music-wise, voice-wise and lyrics-wise.
her voice is just so warm and calming, and it's associated with wonderful lyrics too.

Bubbly :: video

Track listing:

1. "Oxygen"
2. "The Little Things"
3. "One Fine Wire"
4. "Bubbly"
   
5. "Feelings Show"
6. "Midnight Bottle"
7. "Realize"
8. "Battle"
9. "Tailor Made"
10. "Magic"
11. "Tied Down"
12. "Capri"
13. "Older (iTunes Bonus Track)"

laptop

Well, apparently I like to talk about "nothing" -_-
'cause when I have something to talk about I get tongue-tied (in this case it's finger-tied).

Lots of things happened this summer and I'm not even the least interested to write about them, maybe laters, when I'm back to my sucky dorm room, with nothing better to do =P

Anyways, my laptop died on me a couple of days ago. Maybe it's turning into a habit? I don't know..
I bought a freakin "my book" so I can transfer all my important stuff in it, and I was planning to do so in a couple of days, but now I've lost everything and it sucks..sigh

This Whole incident reminded me of one of my bad laptop days, lol..I still laugh whenever I remember it.
I was online, browsing what could highly be sabla lol, and on the table next to me was a nice full bottle of freshening cold water. Suddenly the phone rang! And it was lying next to me on the bed, I stretched out to grab it and I'm not sure if it 's 'cause I'm clumsy, or maybe 'cause I got excited,
Uhh, or! my laptop was just thirsty.. xD

anyways, I answered the phone with a happy "HI!"
Then stood there frozen as the water poured on my laptop..

Nella: oh my god..
POTP (person on the phone): what?
Nella: water is pouring on my laptop!
(Started drying it.)
POTP: switch it off!
Nella still trying to dry it and still saying: oh my god!
POTP: SWITCH IT OFF!!
(Done drying, and now holding it upside down, with water dripping from it)
Nella: There is water inside!! :'(
POTP: just switch it off!!
Nella: ok.. (Switched it off)
Nella: I'm screwed!
POTP: (laughing)..you should've switched it off when I asked you too!
Nella: am….I was trying to dry it..
POTP: ok, lets hope you're lucky enough that nothing got to the motherboard, just leave it to dry a few days,..ugh! 3aneeda!! (stubborn!!)
Nella: *sniff*.. :(

and I did, left it to dry for three days, and on the third day, I switched it on while saying my prayers xD
And it was perfectly fine! ^_^

So POTP? If you're reading this, thank you! =P

thank you

I learned from you that I do not crumble

I learned that strength is something you choose
All of the reasons to keep on believin',
There's no question, that's a lesson
I learned from you

I'm grateful for all of the times
You opened my eyes

Thinking: noses, dad, trains, nintendo DS, tattoos and white walls.
Drinking: we're out of cold water..so it's room temp water :(
listening to: one fine wire and feelings show.
watching: D.Gray-man, Claymore, school rumble and prison break.
Missing: someone's laugh.
Doing: trying to keep myself from smiling as I'm typing this. lol


yes i know, this is not a serious update..but the draft i have right now needs some editing and I'm sleepy at the moment..gomenasai!
sigh..i miss blogging! ^_^